


Every Single Note

by OneOverClover



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Age Difference, Also older Hank, Blow Jobs, But there’s a really sweet story in here somewhere, Canon Compliant, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, FaceTime Sex, Flashbacks, Hank Anderson Backstory, Hank and Jeffrey are BFFs, Hank before the baggage, Post Pacifist Ending, Sex with an authority figure, Size Difference, Smut with younger Hank, Vaginal Sex, big dick problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:00:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 42,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21946972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneOverClover/pseuds/OneOverClover
Summary: “If I wanted to be ignored, I’d talk to me ex-wife”The words printed on a sticker on his desk were the only clue Hank presented to the world that he had ever been married, but when Connor tracks her down, the woman he finds isn’t who he expected.This story takes place in two time periods. The first is a little more than a year after the pacifist ending and the second is in 2018 when Hank first met his future wife.
Relationships: Hank Anderson/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

Connor gently feels the petals of the orange flowers sitting in his lap. They’re tiger lilies just purchased by Hank at a supermarket the two had stopped at on the way back from a crime scene. The human cashier had smiled at Hank and asked him if they were for a special lady. Connor ran a scan on the cashier. Kayleigh Hughes. 49 years old. Prior charges for credit card fraud and possession of cocaine. He then studied the cashier’s smile. Connor had compiled an image of every human smile he had seen for the past three weeks in an effort to calculate an average smile to use on a day to day basis. He began this project after he had been trying to put a witness at ease and they told him his smile was “unnerving.” Connor knows he occasionally smiles involuntarily since he became deviant, but he seems to be incapable of purposefully recreating the expression on command.

Hank had simply told the cashier that “no” that the flowers were not for a lady. She smiled even wider saying that she was happy to hear that. Connor thought she was likely making an advance toward the Lieutenant, but Hank either didn’t pick up on it or didn’t care.

Connor holds the flowers in his lap on the way to the cemetery while Hank drives. It’s Memorial Day, so he isn’t surprised to see that the parking lot is quite crowded. It’s a crisp, sunny day, and dozens of families are milling about the headstones.  
Connor had accompanied Hank to his son’s grave twice before. A lot of thought had obviously been placed into where Cole had been buried. The location more closely resembled a public park than a graveyard. Since the Android demonstration, Hank had been visiting the cemetery every few weeks, changing out flowers and making sure the groundskeeper was staying on top of the landscaping. Conner had been a bit concerned at first, but it turned out that this was a part of Hank’s recovery; a sign that he is accepting Cole’s death as a part of his own life.

Cole’s grave is located in a shady part of the cemetery near a small pond. It has a simple rectangular tombstone with a granite vase built into its base. The two plots to the right of it are vacant.  
As the partners approach the area where Hank’s son is buried, Connor sees that someone is already there. A small woman sits on the ground on top of the vacant plot closest to the grave. She is wearing a knee-length dress and a denim jacket. Her legs are folded to her side. Her dark hair - pinned into a bun on top of her head. Fresh purple daisies rest in the vase.

Connor can only see the side of the woman’s face, but it is enough to complete a scan. Audrey Ballentine. Formerly Audrey Anderson. 41 years old. One prior misdemeanor charge for underage drinking.  
His initial scan doesn’t relay the information to him, but it is clear to Connor that this is Hank’s ex-wife.

Hank had never once mentioned the woman to Connor. The only clue that Hank had ever been married is a sticker on his desk at the station. “If I wanted to be ignored I’d talk to my ex-wife,” it reads.  
Connor had never researched her. It doesn’t seem she is a part of Hank’s life anymore. There are no old family photos displayed in hank’s house. In fact, the only picture of Cole that Connor has ever seen is the one school photo Hank now keeps on a top shelf in a closet. He isn’t ready to have it out full time yet.

Connor watches as the Lieutenant takes slow cautious steps toward the grave where the woman sits. He had expected Hank to try to slip away unnoticed. Hank is quite close to her by the time she quickly glances back at him.

“Hi, Hank,” she says flatly after turning back to look at the gravestone. Hank doesn’t immediately respond, and after a moment she speaks again, “You look different.”

Hank takes a deep breath, “You look tired.”

She keeps her eyes focused on Cole’s grave, “I’m just getting older.”

Hank stands there awkwardly for a moment before remembering the bouquet in his hand. “I just came to.... flowers... but it looks like ... uh you’ve already got that covered.”

She turns back and extends her arm toward Hank, “Here.”

It takes the lieutenant a moment to realize she is asking him to hand her the flowers. Connor notices that Hank takes care not to touch her hand as he gives them to her.

She unties the ribbon around the stems and begins arranging Hank’s orange flowers in with purple ones she brought. Connor still has difficulty discerning when things are aesthetically pleasing, but from the files he has archived on art and design, he thinks they probably look nice.

“So, uh, what are you doing in town? I’m sure you didn’t miss me.” Hank says. His stress level reads at 89 percent.

Her attention is still on the flowers. “I miss who you used to be.” She doesn’t sound angry, just somber.

“Yeah, me too.” It’s the most defeated Connor has heard him sound in a long time.

The android counts as 36 seconds lapse before Hank speaks again.  
“I know it doesn’t mean much, but I’m doing a lot better now. I’ve made a lot of changes.” He rubs the back of his neck nervously.

She turns back to look at Hank again and spots Connor for the first time. “Sorry, I didn’t realize someone was with you.”

“That’s my partner, Connor. We were on our way back from a scene, and I thought I should drop by. It’s been a couple of weeks since the last time I was here,” Hank says.

She turns to face the grave again. “You’ve been taking good care of his plot. I can tell. Thank you for that.”

“Yeah, well I know you don’t get to spend a lot of time here, so I’ll give you some space.”

She gives him a small nod without looking back.

Hank turns around quickly making a beeline for the car. Connor pauses for a moment longer watching the woman – Audrey quietly sitting at her son’s final resting place.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Connor slides into the passenger seat of Hank’s car, the lieutenant has his head tilted back over the headrest breathing deeply in and out.

“Are you okay, Hank? Maybe you should take the rest of the day off. I can file the report from today’s scene remotely,” Connor says.  
Hank keeps his head tilted up toward the roof of the car. “No, I just need a minute.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Fuck Connor, I don’t know. I just wasn’t expecting... it’s been a while since I’ve seen her,” Hank’s voice breaks halfway through the sentence.

Connor shifts in his seat to face Hank better, “Forgive me if this is too personal, but I had assumed that the two of you currently have a hostile relationship. She didn’t seem to have any particularly unkind words for you.”

Hank runs a hand over his face, “Yeah, well she was visiting her only child’s grave, so she probably had other things on her mind.”

“She doesn’t live here anymore, right? Do you think she decided to make the trip just to visit the cemetery?”

Hank lifts his head and reaches for the ignition, “Hell if I know, let’s just get the fuck out of here.”  
They peel out of the cemetery parking lot, death metal at just high enough volume to hide the uncomfortable silence. Traffic is heavy today; lots of folks out on the roads because they have the day off.

Connor lets Hank drive in silence for a while before Hank speaks on his own starting with a deep sigh, “I thought she blamed me for Cole’s death, but I was wrong. I couldn’t get it out of my head that she resented me for it, but the truth is, I blamed myself. I was shifting my anger off onto other things, androids… red ice, when I knew it was me who should have been able to do more to save my son.”  
Connor’s concern for the lieutenant grows, “Do you still feel that way, Hank?” he asks.

Hank shakes his head, “Not any more. It took a lot of soul searching to get here though.”  
Connor thinks he understands, “Have you ever talked to a professional about this?”  
“Not since right after Cole died. Jeffrey made me see a therapist before he let me go back to work, but the cocksucker wasn’t worth a shit.”

“Maybe you should try again with someone different,” Connor offers, “You’ve been recovering well on your own, and I’m proud of you, but you would probably make even more progress if you had help.”

“I’ll think about it,” Hank says coming to a stop at a red light, “but I haven’t been doing this alone... I mean you’ve been here.”

Connor smiles genuinely without thinking about it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Connor has come to accept that part of his personality includes a penchant for nosiness. He’s sure it is a side effect of his detective programming, but it carries over into his personal life. After all the proper forms are completed for their current investigation, he spends the evening delving into any records he can find on Audrey Ballentine.

He hadn’t realized it until now, but Conner has an idea of what Hank’s ex-wife is probably like in his head. He supposed that she was a homemaker, probably spent a lot of time gossiping with the neighborhood wives and goading Hank about needing to mow the lawn. She was reserved, sensible, and probably a bit pompous about being married to the city’s youngest police lieutenant

The information he finds does not fit that profile. Audrey was born in North Carolina and moved to Detroit to attend Detroit Technological University. Connor locates an old article on a video gaming site that states she won five-thousand dollars in a regional tournament playing a game called “Super Smash Brothers” when she was 16. Another article in a tech magazine reveals she is an accomplished programmer who helped bring self-driving car technology into the public market. She and Hank were married 14 years ago. They divorced six months after Cole’s death. Before they separated, Audrey and Hank lived in one of the city’s more upscale suburbs. She brought in three-fourths of their income. She has been living in San Francisco for the past three years. The last thing Connor checks turns out to be the thing that intrigued him the most. The charge for underage drinking Audrey received when she was an undergrad. He hadn’t thought that much of it when it popped up in his initial scan. It’s one of the more common charges that come up, one that many assumed had been dropped from their record. But nothing is ever truly erased. When Audrey was 20 years old, she was arrested on the campus of DTU with a blood alcohol level of point-one-three.

Her arresting officer was Hank.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Shortly after Markus’s Android demonstration that shut down Detroit for two weeks, the constitution was amended to give androids equal rights to humans. In theory, this should have put everyone on an even playing field, but in practice androids were still treated as second-class citizens in most respects. Many androids had wanted to continue working in their previously assigned professions, but employers refused to pay them more than minimum wage. Jericho had begun setting up apartments for androids with reduced rent to try to compensate, but the wait list was currently at 16 months.

About a month after the constitutional amendment, the Detroit PD reached out to Connor to offer him a position as an “Android Detective.” It was no surprise to him that the job payed minimum wage. Connor took them up on their offer anyway. He loved the work, and he was likely not going to find a position that paid more. He lived with Hank for about three months before Markus offered him a space in one of Jericho’s apartments. It was a small two-bedroom unit that he shared with one of Markus’s companions, a PL600 named Simon. Connor was a bit apprehensive at first, but he found that the two of them got along well enough. Besides, both were very busy with their work and weren’t often home.

With Connor’s encouragement, Hank slowly began to cut back on drinking. It had taken a long time because he started at a place where going cold turkey would have killed him, but he eventually stopped all together. The change it had made in the lieutenant’s work performance had been nothing short of impressive. Connor was able to see what had made Hank such a respected officer.

However for two days after their visit to the cemetery, Hank has been completely unfocused. On the third day, he doesn’t show up at all.

Connor knocks purposefully on the front door of Hank’s house and waits a moment before ringing the doorbell. A recording plays in his memory of the night he crashed through the kitchen window because he thought Hank was dead on the floor. This time the front door opens. Connor is very concerned that Lieutenant Anderson has started drinking again, but a quick scan reveals his blood alcohol level to be at 0%. He suddenly knows what humans mean when they said they “felt relief wash over them.”

Hank is wearing sweatpants and a Detroit Police hoodie. Sumo peeks out from behind his legs. “What do you want, Connor?”

“I was concerned about your wellbeing, Lieutenant. You haven’t missed a day of work since you’ve been sober, and I -“

“I’m not fucking drinking.” Hank cuts him off, “and I don’t need you checking up on me.” It’s been a long time since he used such an aggressive tone of voice with Connor. “Just go back to work and if you’re lucky I’ll show up tomorrow.”

Hank tries to slam the door shut, but Connor blocks it with his arm. He tries to force the door closed anyway, but Connor is much stronger than he appears. “You need to tell me what’s going on. You haven’t been acting like yourself since we visited the cemetery.”

“It’s none of your damn business you fuckin’ Android.”

“It is my damn business, you’re my best friend, Hank,” Connor hears himself shouting and makes a note that he needs to dial it back a bit.

Hank lets go of the door and puts both hands over his face walking farther inside his house, “Fine, you just won’t let an old man deal with his own pathetic problems in peace, will you?”

Connor follows Hank through the door. The moment he steps inside Sumo headbutts his thigh, the dog’s preferred method of begging for attention. The living room is dark, and he can see the light from his LED reflecting faintly off the walls. Hank flops down in the middle of the couch and stretches his arms over the back, his head tilts back toward the ceiling. He has a habit of leaning his head back like that when he’s feeling overwhelmed. Connor notices an old-fashioned photo album sitting open on the table. It contains pictures from a wedding. Hank’s wedding.

“Lieutenant...” Connor says. Hank is a man who likes to torture himself with photographs.

“I just wish I knew what she was doing here,” Hank says without opening his eyes.

Connor moves closer to analyze the photos on the open pages. The couple had an outdoor wedding. Hank was younger, but his hair was already mostly gray. He wasn’t quite conventionality attractive, but with his strong jawline he certainly looked dignified. Audrey was a very small woman. Hank towered over her. He was absolutely beaming. It’s hard for Connor to imagine the Lieutenant he knows now with such an expression of unabashed joy on his face. Conner is also surprised to see that Captain Fowler had been his best man.

“Do you still have feelings for her, Lieutenant, or does seeing her make you think about Cole?”

Hank actually chuckles, “You don’t start with the easy questions, do you?”

It’s then Connor notices a bottle of Black Lamb sitting on the kitchen table. It appears to be unopened. He walks into the kitchen and grabs it, “Hank when did you purchase this?”

“I’ve been hanging on to it in case of an emergency,” Hank answers.

Connor calculates there is a 50/50 chance that that is a lie, “I’ll make you a deal.” He cracks the lid to the bottle open. “You show up to work tomorrow on time and sober. And I’ll use my best computer forensics to determine why your ex-wife is visiting Detroit.” He walks over the sink and before Hank knows what is happening, Connor pours the bottle down the drain.

“Hey, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Hank jumps up off the couch, but it’s too late. The liquor is already on its way to the wastewater treatment plant.

“You’ve worked too hard to get where you are. I refuse to watch you give up now.” Connor slams the empty bottle on the counter, “Do we have a deal?”

For a second Connor thinks Hank might actually strike him, but he stops three feet away and considers the proposal for a moment, “Fine, just don’t do anything creepy, okay.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

At 12:47 p.m Connor is standing across the street from a cafe called “Ain’t Muffin Better.” Through the front window he can see Audrey Ballentine having coffee with a friendly-faced plump woman. Connor had been able to track Audrey using a cell phone pinging program usually used to locate missing persons. His use of the software for stalking Hank’s ex-wife was completely illegal, but Connor had come to realize that most people did at least one technically illegal thing each day; even cops.  
The Android runs a scan on the woman sitting with Audrey. Maya Fowler. 50 years old. No criminal record. She is captain Fowler’s wife. The two women are hunched over their cups chatting intimately. Connor imagines a time when the Andersons and the Fowlers had been good friends. Going on double dates to the movies, sipping beers at the sports bar while watching the Lions’ game. Both women stand and hug as Mrs. Fowler throws her purse over her arm. Audrey sits back down and waves goodbye as the other woman exits the restaurant. Connor estimates he has roughly seven minutes before she finishes her drink and leaves, so he needs to act fast. Quickly he crosses the street and enters the cafe. A bell chimes pleasantly as he opens the door. Connor’s olfactory sensors light up with signals for coffee, cinnamon and yeast.

Audrey now sits alone at a two-person table reading a magazine slate - an article about the next generation of gaming consoles. It’s something he can’t imagine Hank caring less about. The former couple obviously kept very different hobbies.

Connor decides to try a direct approach to getting the information he wants. He has found a 75% positive correlation between being earnest in his intentions and achieving his preferred results. Also, his innate desire to snoop is getting the better of him, and he is very curious what Audrey is actually like.

She doesn’t look up as he walks up to her table. “Miss Ballentine?”

She glances at Connor, startled at someone knowing her name. Then a look of concentration falls across her face. Probably trying to remember where she has seen him before.

“My name’s Connor. I’m Lieutenant Anderson’s partner,” he offers.

“Oh, of course. Sorry, I was a little distracted when... wait you’re an Android?”

His jaw clenches- unsure of exactly where this is going. But then she gives him a conspiratorial smile. Connor makes a snapshot of it and adds it to his collection.

“Maybe Hank really has been making changes,” she says.

Connor attempts to mimic her small smile back at her, but he isn’t confident with the result. “Is it okay if I sit with you for a moment?”

She makes an open-handed welcoming gesture to the chair across the table from her. Connor isn’t sure why he has such preconceived notions, but he had braced himself to meet a bitter, irritable woman. That’s not the impression he’s getting right now. Connor drops into the seat and takes a good look at her face. She is wearing makeup, but not much. Her dark hair is down today and curls past her shoulders. He thinks she probably looks younger than she is. She also looks a lot like Hank’s photo of Cole.  
“Can I ask you something... um officer?”

“You can call me Connor, and go ahead.” He hadn’t expected her to begin asking questions before he had the chance, but then none of this is going quite the way he expected.

“Why do you still have this?” She taps the side of her head where an LED would be on an Android, “I’ve never seen another model like you. You would be able to pass so easily.”

It’s true that most androids chose to remove their LEDs after they were freed. Many considered them symbols of oppression. Some have even had modifications made to their faces to make them look different than other androids of their model.

“I’m not ashamed of what I am,” Connor says simply. “I’ve no desire to deceive anyone into believing that I am human. I am an Android, and I am a person. If someone can’t accept that, it’s a flaw in their own character.”

Audrey wraps both hands around her ceramic cup, small, thin fingers intertwining. “I’m sorry, that was probably an inappropriate thing to ask,” she says gazing into her steamy drink. “I’m still getting use to the whole situation. The androids out west, they’ve decided to build their own communities in the desert. Everything’s really segregated there. It’s not like it is here.”

“I heard about that,” Conner replies. “Things aren’t perfect here, but this still seems better than what’s happening there.”

“I think you’re right.” She takes a sip of her drink that Connor determines is earl grey tea with lemon and then looks him in the eyes, “You were looking for me, weren’t you? Why?”

A series of possible answers flash into Connor’s mind, but he has already decided that he is going to be genuine. “Lieutenant Anderson hasn’t been himself since he saw you at the cemetery. He wants to know why you’re in town, and I told him I would attempt to find out in an effort to put his mind at ease.”

She considers that before looking back down at her drink furrowing her brows, “Connor, I appreciate your sincerity, but it’s really none of your business. It’s none of his either.”

“I understand.” He hears the dejection in his own voice. “You know Hank told me the other day that he thought you blamed him for what happened.” He doesn’t add that he is talking about the accident that had ultimately led to Cole’s death, but he hopes that it is implied. “He said he believes now that he was wrong about that.”

Audrey stares at him intently, “He tells you a lot.”

“I’m the best friend he has.” Connor really believes he is too, maybe even the only real friend he has at present.

She takes a moment, letting her mind process that information. “Have you ever heard humans say that everything happens for a reason?”

“That seems to be a common mantra for mankind,” he replies.

“Well it’s bullshit.” She lifts her cup and drains the rest of her tea before setting it down firmly on the table. “There’s a certain element of randomness about the universe and sometimes terrible things happen and it’s no one’s fault.”

Connor does feel relieved that Hank had been correct, and Audrey doesn’t blame him for their son’s death, but he still doesn’t have the information that he came for.

“Hank has been sober for six months.” Connor says.

“Would you believe me if I told you that once upon a time, Hank Anderson was the best man I had ever met?” she asks.

“Yes, I would,” the Android replies without any hesitation. He means it. He can see glimpses of that man every day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I am super nervous to post this as I haven't tried to write fiction in many years. Any comments or constructive criticism are hugely appreciated, but mostly I'm just happy that you've read this far.
> 
> I wrote this because I wanted to read a M/F romance with Hank, and I couldn't find much that had been written. It's understandable since there aren't really any canon women who make sense with him. I hope that you guys will like the ex-wife character I've created for him. I feel like a lot of the fics I've read always paint her in a negative light, and I feel like she deserves more of a chance than that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything that happens in this fic is consensual, but there are moments in this chapter that make both characters uncomfortable.

At 33 with more than a decade on the force Hank is still a beat cop and just about fed up with it. He was recently passed over for a promotion again, and to make things worse, now he’s having to fill in and babysit college kids. The Detroit PD has a contract with DTU to provide security for the campus, and one of the officers assigned to the campus is out on maternity leave. Officers from other departments are taking turns filling in while she is out, and this week Hank’s number came up.

DTU is a college that specializes in computer science programs. It also has an unusually high ratio of male to female students that diversity specialists just can’t seem to solve. The school doesn’t have much in the way of sports teams and patrolling around campus Hank can see why. There are obviously not many former varsity athletes amongst the student body. So, Saturday night, he hadn’t been expecting to have to put up with a plethora of ragers on campus.

However, as Hank finds out nerds like to party just as much as anyone else. There are three frat houses on the edge of campus that they have already received four noise complaints about from the surrounding neighborhood.

“What kind of sausage parties could these kids be up to?” He asks his temporary partner for the night as he slides into the passenger seat of her cruiser.

“You’d be surprised, Anderson. Sheltered kids get a little bit of freedom and they turn into hellions,” she’s worked the campus for a while, so she knows what she’s talking about.

The pair of them pull up to a couple of the houses, bang on the doors, and try to sound scary as they tell the kids to keep it down. Hank really doesn’t want to get the students into any kind of trouble. He had almost certainly partied harder in his day, and he doesn’t see anything overly concerning when he peeks inside. It isn’t a dry campus, and there’s no blatant drug use going on out in the open.

It all goes over well, and the pair of them are heading back to the tiny campus station when they spot a car zig zagging toward one of the dorms. The officers look at each other then hit the blue lights. The car ahead of them falters for a moment before coming to a dead stop in the middle of the road. Hank grabs the loudspeaker and instructs the car to pull over to the side. Nothing happens for a moment and then four girls emerge one from each door and take off in opposite directions. Great, now instead of one girl getting a DUI, all four are going to be charged. Hank’s partner leaps from the cruiser and runs after the two girls who ran from the driver’s side. Hank does the same with the two from the passenger’s side.

The girl who had been in the back seat is short and only makes it about a hundred feet before Hank’s much longer legs catch up with her. He grabs her around the waist lifting her from the ground. She flails a bit trying to get loose but doesn’t make any moves to try to hit him, which he’s grateful for. Assaulting an officer isn’t an easy charge to explain to future employers, and he doesn’t want to plant it on some drunk college girl. In one movement he pins the girl to the ground falling to his knees in the process.  
Hank lets her go for a moment reaching around for his handcuffs. She takes the opportunity to roll over onto her back and face him. He’s worried she might be trying to resist, but instead she scans her eyes up from his knees which are grinding into the dirt all the way up to his police cap, “My god, you’re huge.” There isn’t a single tremor of fear in her voice. She sounds... turned on?

Hank shakes his head. The girl must be plastered. He gets her cuffed and walks her back to the cruiser. The female officer is already there waiting for him. She somehow managed to catch both girls she ran after and has just finished loading them into the back seat.

“Where’s the other one?” she asks. Hank shrugs and she clucks her tongue at him in disappointment. “We need to take their car back to the station. Go ahead and take your kid back in it. She looks like she might hurl and I’d rather it be someone else’s problem.”

What she is asking Hank to do isn’t regulation, but he makes off toward the girls’ car anyway with his tail between his legs. He notices the keys are still in the ignition when he sits the girl down in the passenger’s seat. Hank has to slide the driver’s seat all the way back to be able to comfortably sit behind the wheel.

“I’m not gonna hurl,” says the girl sitting beside of him.

“I’ll make you a deal, you don’t puke before we get there, and I’ll let you call your parents first,” Hank says.

“Can you put my seatbelt on?” she asks, “I’m a little paranoid.”

Hank notices she has a slight southern accent and the notion crosses his mind that he might think it’s cute before his better judgement forces the thought from his head, “And you got into a car with a drunk driver? That makes a lot of fucking sense.”

She rests her head against the dashboard, “I’m a mystery wrapped in an enigma with a Four Loko and three beers in my stomach.”

That doesn’t sound like all that much to Hank, but she is literally half his size, so she’s probably pretty tanked, “Jesus, just keep them all in there will ya?”  
He tells her to lean back and reaches across the console to fasten her seat belt being careful not to touch her unnecessarily. It has to be uncomfortable to sit like that with her hands cuffed behind her back, but she doesn’t complain. She’s dressed like she had been at a party in tight jeans and an off-the-shoulder top. Her dark hair curls around her soft features. The phrase “cute as a button” pops into his mind before he squashes it. Get it together, Hank.

She keeps her word and refrains from blowing chunks on the car ride back, but when Hank offers to let her use the phone at the station, she says she doesn’t have anyone to call.

Hank collects the IDs of all three of the girls they had caught. The other two girls are 22, but the one he caught, Audrey Ballentine is only 20. She’s going to be charged with underaged drinking and evading arrest. The driver has already ratted out the identity of the girl who escaped. Probably hoping to avoid the DUI, but it isn’t going to happen. If they hadn’t ran Hank would have probably suggested letting Audrey go.

The campus station doesn’t have a real holding cell, just a repurposed office with some folding chairs that Audrey is still sitting in after the families of the others pick them up. Hank thinks about calling her a cab, but he is about to head home anyway so he offers to give her a ride. None of the other three officers on duty bat an eye when he walks out the door with her. He gets the feeling these guys kind of work to the beat of their own drum out here without much interference from the larger stations. It’s probably nice, but the opportunities for advancement are pretty much nonexistent.

The girl is still pretty drunk and after she gives him directions to a house just outside of campus, she starts to nod off in the passenger’s seat of Hank’s car. Her eyes are closed, and her head is resting against the window when she says, “You know, I was hoping you’d feel me up earlier when you were buckling me in.”

Hank feels like he’s been tased in the gut, “You... you don’t know what you’re saying”

“You’d pretend like it was an accident, but it wasn’t,” she mumbles, “I would have let you.”

“You had handcuffs on... you know what just stop talking.”

Hank pulls up to her house a few painful minutes later. It’s a fairly nice, well-kept two-story home on a quiet street. He thinks about his crummy apartment and how a college student could afford to live here.

“If you could make sure everything that happened tonight is just forgotten about, I’ll let you come inside with me,” she slurs.

Hank turns to face her. “I’ll make you a deal,” He says in as stern of a voice as he can muster, “You go inside and go to bed, and I won’t charge you with trying to bribe a law enforcement officer.”

She looks down dejectedly and opens the passenger door. Hank makes sure she makes it through the front door before peeling off.

He cranks the death metal up on the stereo on the way back to his apartment, taking the long way home to try to work through some of his frustration before going to sleep. Hank can feel his face flushed with anger and embarrassment. He can’t believe she tried to pull that shit after he thought he had tried to be as patient as possible throughout the situation. It’s going to be a long night.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It’s three months before he sees her again. He’s working his normal beat with his partner Jeffrey, and if he isn’t happy then he’s at least content. A call comes in to dispatch about a break-in with the victim at home, and Hank feels his gut clench when they pull up outside the house. It’s the same house he had dropped the girl off after her arrest.

Hank hangs back at the base of the front steps and lets Jeffrey ring the doorbell. Audrey answers the door. She’s wearing sweatpants and an oversized T-shirt. The designated sleepwear of girls who aren’t trying to look hot for anyone tonight. As his partner speaks to her, Hank sees her look his way. Of course, she recognizes him, but she keeps it to herself, thank god.

She tells Jeffrey that an ex-boyfriend of hers broke in and cornered her in her bedroom. Luckily, she had her phone in arms reach and had been able to initiate a 911 call which was enough to scare him off. She leads the two of them around the house to a kitchen window in the back of the house. She wasn’t kidding either, the window had been smashed open with a golf club. The putter is still sitting where it fell in the back yard.

Hank continues to let Jeffery do all the questioning. Audrey tells them she broke up with the guy about six months ago, and he had been sending her vaguely threatening texts every few days. She had assumed he was all talk and no action until tonight. She shows them the texts he had that she hasn’t deleted yet.

They came in bursts, always starting by apologizing for the last messages he sent, then trying to make small talk asking about her day. A new message would arrive every few minutes, becoming more and more agitated that she wasn’t replying until he finally called her a “bitch” a “whore” or a “slut.”

Hank can practically smell the insecurity on this guy, he’d have to use both hands to count the number of men he had known in his life that were exactly like this. But still, none of those guys had broken into a girl’s house with a golf club.

They know exactly who they are looking for, so there isn’t any need to look around inside for much longer. “I’m going to call in a ride back to the station and do the paperwork,” Jeffrey says. “You hang out in the cruiser across the street. This guy might try to come back tonight, you never know.”

Hank can’t find a good reason to protest this, and another cop quickly picks his partner up and leaves him standing awkwardly on the front porch with Audrey.

“So, I realize this has put you in a weird situation.” She says wringing the bottom of her oversized shirt in her hands.

“You think?” Hank snaps. “Do you even remember what you said to me that night?”

“I do, and I’m sorry. I don’t expect you to believe me, but it was just a stupid mistake.” Tears are building in her eyes, but she isn’t letting them fall.

Hank suddenly feels a little guilty, “Look, I’m still angry with you. You made me feel like a creep and a pervert, but I know you’ve been through a lot tonight. I’m going to park my cruiser across the street. You should get someone over to board up that window as soon as possible.”

“Thank you.” Audrey replies. She looks so vulnerable there in the chilly night air. “I really thought he was going to hurt me.”

Hank sighs, “He may have if things had turned out differently. You need to let us know if he tries to contact you again.”  
Hank leaves and sits in his cruiser, keeping watch outside the house for the next five uneventful hours before someone else picks up the shift.

By the next day the window smasher has still not been located. They decide to continue keeping watch over Audrey’s house, worried he might return. Hank takes an evening shift. It’s the kind of work he hates because it’s boring as shit, and he has a hard time staying focused.

Audrey has at least one roommate who drops by for a few hours before taking off again, but other than that everything is dead quiet. Hank is nearly zoned out when a tapping at the driver’s side window startles him. Audrey peers back at him with a tray of food in her hands. Hank furrows his brow and rolls down the window, “I just thought you might be working up an appetite out here,” she says pushing the food toward him. It’s grilled cheese and tomato soup.

Hank isn’t ready to be chummy enough with her to accept a free meal, “No thanks,” He says tersely and rolls the window up in her face.

Audrey shrugs and leaves the tray sitting on the hood of his car before going back inside.

It’s getting colder out and Hank zips his jacket up to his chin to try make himself more comfortable. He looks at the soup still streaming on his hood. Hell, why not?

It’s a meal he has a soft spot for anyway, and he can tell it is at least partially homemade. The soup is creamy, and the grilled cheese is made with pepper jack. He polishes everything off quickly. It’s not really a full meal for a man his size but it will hold him over until he can pick up a real dinner.

Having something warm in his belly puts him in a more forgiving mood, and he decides to return the tray and empty dishes.

Audrey looks a little confused when she answers the door, “I’m glad to see you enjoyed it. I was getting worried about you out there.”

“I didn’t say I enjoyed it,” Hank says.

“Oh, alright,” she frowns and takes the tray from his hands.

Hank sighs, “Sorry, that was rude. It was actually really nice. Thank you.”

“Would you like to come inside?” She asks, then her face falls into a horrified expression, “Not like.... I meant just to talk!”

Hank smiles despite himself. It’s kind of adorable how flustered she is. He agrees to follow her into her living room. The house still smells like the like the soup that was simmering on the stove. The pause music from a video game softly plays from the television.

“Look, I know what I did was terrible, and every time you have to see me it’s awkward now. I was really drunk, and it was really stupid, and I’ve learned my lesson. I’m sorry.”  
Hank thinks she sounds like she means it. “You’re lucky I was too embarrassed about the whole thing to tell anyone. I’ve been a cop for a while and that was the first time someone’s tried to bribe me... like that.”

He puts his hands in the pockets of his jacket and rocks on the balls of his feet. “And besides you’re a student at a good school. You’ve got too much going for you to be trying shit like that.” Hank’s mind brings up images of some of the girls they had brought in during prostitution stings. The girl standing in front of him would never be mistaken as falling into that kind of work. She’s currently wearing overalls for Christ’s sake.

“Honestly, I think the attempted bribery was more of an excuse to try to get you to come inside with me, not the other way around...” she pauses then smacks the heel of her hand against her forehead. “That probably just made everything worse.”

“Um, yeah. I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear that. You’re just a kid.” Hank can feel the heat rising in his cheeks. He looks through the house at the back window which is now boarded up. “We have some leads on where your guy may be. Hopefully you won’t have to deal with us spying on you much longer,” he says desperately trying to change the subject.

“I really do appreciate how seriously you guys are taking all of this. And I never thanked you for dropping that charge, I really didn’t deserve it.”

“The hell are you talking about?” Hank asks perplexed.

“When I got my court summons, the resisting arrest charge was gone. There was just the underaged drinking charge”

Hank definitely did NOT do that. “Look, that wasn’t me.” The cop with the university police department must have felt bad for the girls. “I thought I was already letting you off easy all things considered.”

“Yeah, you probably were. I’m not a kid by the way”

“Yes, you are, and everyone does stupid things when they’re kids. You just had the good fortune to try something stupid with someone who doesn’t want to take advantage of drunk college girls.” Hank checks his phone. His shift is nearly up.

Audrey walks him to the door, “I’m glad we had the chance to talk. I feel a little better about everything now.” As she’s closing the door she adds, “Plus, I found out you look really cute when you blush like that.”

What a fucking brat.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

That night hank crawls into bed and starts palming himself through his underwear. It’s been... a while since someone else touched him like this. Probably a couple of years now embarrassingly enough. He isn’t interested in random hookups found through a phone app, and dating has fallen by the wayside as he tries to focus on his career. He jerks himself off trying not to think about anyone specific. As he climaxes the only thought in his head is how someone’s ass can possibly look that good in overalls.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next day Audrey’s ex-boyfriend is found at his cousin’s house in Lansing. She won’t have to worry about him for a while.

Hank is able to put her mostly out of his mind until her court date. It turns out that the university cop never went through with filing the evading arrest charges for any of the girls so the only two who need to show up are Audrey for her underage drinking charge and the driver for her DUI. It’s more leniency than Hank would have shown, but when Hank asks the cop about it before court, she looks him dead in the eye and says, “These girls are STEM majors in male dominated fields. Their careers are already going to be a struggle.” She probably knows what that’s like first-hand, so Hank just drops it.

Audrey shows up dressed nicely and speaks politely to the judge, so he sentences her to a paltry amount of community service. When the judge asks Hank about that night, he leaves out the part where the girls ran.

Audrey finds him in the parking lot when they are finished. “Don’t come here to thank me about the charge.” He says when he sees her approaching, “I already told you, it wasn’t me.”

“I know, but you also didn’t bring it up to the judge,” she says closing the distance between them.

“Yeah, well if you really want to show your appreciation, you could just stay out of my sight and out of trouble for the rest of your life,” Hank doesn’t mean to sound as callous as the words come out, but he can’t shake the uneasiness he feels around her.

Audrey takes a deep breath and squares her shoulders, “Look, I have no intention of ever being arrested again, and I’ll try my best to avoid you like the plague, but I want to make something very clear. I know I already apologized for this, but I was drunk and attracted to you, and being manhandled and restrained like that played into some authority figure fetish I didn’t even know I had. I spent that night at the station trying to come up with some way to make sleeping with me seem appealing to you, but I was plastered and what I came up with was absolutely stupid and put both of us in a terrible position.”

Hank glances around the parking lot trying to make sure no one is listening in, “Why are you telling me this? You could have just kept all of this to yourself?”

“Because I’m not the kind of person who uses sex to get the things that I want, and I’m never going to be. Knowing that that’s how someone thought of me was eating me up inside.”

Hank doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he just stares down at her for a moment before saying, “Stay out of trouble, kid.” He gets in his cruiser and drives off leaving her standing alone in the parking lot.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When he gets back to the station Hank spends the rest of his shift gazing off into space trying to unpack what she had told him. Lots of girls went crazy for a guy in uniform, so maybe it isn’t so strange that she’s into him? He thinks about the way she had eyed him up after he pinned her to the ground. Hank works out at the station gym a few times a week, so he’s in decent shape, but he is still a bit soft around the middle. His hair is already graying at the temples and he has a face he thought could be at best described as ‘interesting looking’. Not to mention the gap between his front teeth he’s always been self-conscious about. So, in a way, it’s sort of flattering that he can get a cute coed so worked up that she’s coming up with schemes to get in his pants.

Hank’s always dated women close to his own age. Thinking about being intimate with someone more than ten years younger than him makes him feel like a creep, but that’s the real issue here isn’t it? As much as he tries not to think about it, he’s attracted to Audrey. It’s why he feels uneasy around her. He knows she’s attracted to him, and he’s attracted to her, and he is a decade older than her and he’s also the cop that arrested her and everything about it is just not right.

Hank’s so frustrated that when he goes home that night, he does something he said he would never do. He downloads a hookup app. Swiping through profiles, he tries to keep his expectations realistic. People his age have... baggage. Lots of single moms and women just getting out of their starter marriages. It’s fine. Hank’s pretty open minded. It’s a big city, so he finds about 15 women who catch his eye. Over the next few weeks he is able to set up dates with three of them. One is a no show. One turns out to be much older than she claimed on her profile. The third seems promising, but they just don’t click. When he takes her home, she invites him inside anyway. Hank turns her down on the offer. He doesn’t know why.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hank deletes his account on the app after the third date deciding he’d rather meet women organically.

The next weekend he goes out with a couple of the other bachelors at work. Jeffrey never goes out with him anymore - not since his kids were born. The two guys he is with that night are in their mid-twenties. Hank pretends It doesn’t irk him, but really it makes him feel like that guy who graduated years ago and still goes to high school parties.  
The trio are having a pretty good time hopping from bar to bar, taking shots and playing darts. Around midnight they stumble into a real dive. The place reeks of cigarettes and mildew. They order another round of whiskey and the younger guys start talking about trying to pick up girls to take home. Hank thinks they’re too sloppy to have much success, but he’s prepared to put on his best wing man performance.

“The key,” one of the younger men says, “is to pick a girl that isn’t too hot, but that you don’t mind plowing.”

The other inebriated cop scans the room, “I’m going for that one.” He says pointing to a girl bending over a pool table with a cue in hand, “Not sure what she looks like from the front, but the back is looking sweet.”

“Just keep her bent over and it won’t matter, right?” the young cop puts a hand on the bar to steady himself.

The two men began to hash out their plan of action. Hank is only halfway paying attention when the girl in question turns around, and oh no. It’s definitely Audrey. She is hanging out with a group of other students and guzzling a Red Stripe. Hank wonders if she’s turned 21 yet.

“You need to pick a different girl.” He says loudly over the thudding music in the bar. “Actually, let’s just try a different place.” Hank realizes he’s slurring.

They ask Hank what’s wrong, and he tells them that he had arrested her for underage drinking, and he doesn’t want things to be awkward. They don’t need to know the rest. The other two don’t seem to believe that’s a good enough reason, and even begin thinking of ways to work it into their strategy.

“Look, you guys do whatever the fuck you want, I’m ready to call it a night.” Hank looks back in Audrey’s direction only to realize she is already looking at him. Really, it’s no surprise he’s been spotted. The place isn’t packed and Hank’s not exactly inconspicuous. Like a deer in the headlights he stands there waiting to see what happens next.

Audrey is wearing sweater so low cut her lacy bra is on full display. On a bustier girl it might look provocative, but on her Hank thinks it probably just looks fashionable. Her hair and makeup are done the same as the night Hank arrested her.  
He wants to melt into the floor and disappear.

Audrey turns and says something to her group then picks up her bag and makes her way to the front door. Or at least she tries to before one of Hank’s shitfuck coworkers blocks her way.

“Wait a sec. My friend wants to ask you something.” The young man sways as he speaks.

“I don’t have anything to say to him,” she says glaring over at Hank.

“What?” He claps a hand on her shoulder too roughly, “Hey, how many drinks would you need before getting into the sack with my buddy would seem like a good idea?”

Audrey gives Hank a cold stare that feels like it goes straight through to his spine. The misunderstanding of the matter is totally lost on her as she pushes past the drunken man.

Of course, she thinks he was referring to Hank, and not the other cop. The two young men explode in a fit of giggles blind to Hank’s total mortification. He wants to both chase after her and explain the truth but simultaneously to never have to encounter her again as long as he lives.

He opts to take three shots of whiskey back to back and hopes the blackout will kill the memory.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning, Hank realizes he has a problem, and not just the brain-juicing hangover. It starts out small. A seed planted in his conscience, but as the week goes on it grows and grows until by Thursday, he admits to himself that he very much does not enjoy knowing that Audrey thinks he was taunting her. Maybe it’s the same thing she felt when she spilled her guts to him in the courthouse parking lot, or maybe not. Either way, he needs to set the record straight.

Hank thinks about it all day Friday, plots exactly what he will say to her. He isn’t the most eloquent guy, so he wants to make sure he doesn’t somehow end up with his foot in his mouth. He ends up having to cover someone else’s shift on Saturday night when he planned to stop by her house. Hank drives by anyway and knocks on her front door. A different girl answers; it’s her roommate.

Audrey isn’t at home. “Is she wanted for murder or something?”

Hank says she isn’t in trouble he just needs to talk to her about something.

“Oh. Is it about that prick who broke our window? She has the worst taste in guys.” The statement gives Hank pause. _Ouch._

Turns out Audrey is at the same shithole bar Hank saw her at the previous week. He feels guilty about neglecting his patrol, but he reminds himself that he isn’t even supposed to be working today. This time when he walks inside the establishment everyone turns to look. It’s never a good thing when a cop walks into a bar in uniform. It means someone is getting led out of there against their will.

Audrey sits at a table this time with what looks like the same group of people, Red Stripe in hand. She is holding hands with a skinny punk with a blonde mohawk. Really, who has a mohawk in 2018?

Hank walks right up to her and asks to speak with her outside. He realizes how bad it must look, but at that point he’s pretty sure he has lost his damn mind. Audrey tries to play it cool and asks what this is about. He tells her he will tell her outside. She suggests that Hank can tell her right there, and then he asks to see her ID. Her mouth forms a hard line as she fishes her driver’s license out of her bag and hands it to him. Yep, she’s still 20. Hank asks one more time for her to come with him and she reluctantly agrees.

“Did you really need to do this in front of my friends?” She asks when they are on the sidewalk.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” He really sort of is. “I thought I told you to stay out of trouble? That doesn’t include hanging out in shitty bars and drinking beer when you’re still not old enough.”

“Okay, one - you’re not my father, and two - don’t you have something better to do? Crime could be running rampant on the streets of Detroit and you’re here trying to get me in trouble again when I was minding my own business.”

Hank doesn’t have any counter to that because clearly, he is out of line. He looks around at the multitude of people walking past them on the sidewalk. This is too public. He convinces her to follow him back to his patrol car to talk some more. Audrey climbs into the back seat of his cruiser, which isn’t what Hank intended, but whatever.

“What is it that you want from me?” she asks looking through the bars like she is a criminal.

Hank isn’t sure why he does it, but he begins switching off the cameras inside of his cruiser. It’s not supposed to be something that’s possible to do, but all officers know how to unplug the right combinations of cords to make it look like a system malfunction. “I wanted to talk to you about last weekend. Those dumbfucks I was with that night – I didn’t tell them what happened. One of them wanted to pick you up, and I know what he said sounded like he was trying to make you feel like shit, but it wasn’t like that at all.”

Audrey sits quietly for a moment considering what he said. Fat drops of rain begin to hit the windshield. “Can we drive around for a bit?” she asks.

“Sure.”

Hank sticks to the side streets keeping an eye out for other officers who might get nosy about what he’s doing out of his patrol area.

“Do you always dress like that?” she asks eventually.

“I mean, when I’m working, yeah,” says Hank.

“No, the other day in the bar. It was the first time I ever saw you out of uniform,” she says. “Your outfit. It was interesting.”

Hank has an… eclectic sense of fashion. He tends to gravitate toward bold patterns that are a brave choice on a man his size.

“Yeah, I guess? Can’t imagine it’s more obnoxious than a fucking bleached mohawk,” Hank scoffs.

Audrey leans forward and puts her face close to the bars. “You sound jealous. He’s not my boyfriend, just a guy I’ve been hanging out with.”

Hank understands. He went to college before joining the force. Four years of his life for a useless piece of paper he keeps in the bottom of a desk drawer. He’s still paying off the student loans.

“Do you think we could be friends?” she asks.

Hank comes to a stop at a red light. “Me and you? Kid, I can’t imagine we have a damn thing in common.”

“I don’t like it when you call me kid. I’m a grown woman.”

Hank turns around to face her, “Yeah well I didn’t like it when you told me I wasn’t your father. Jesus, how old do you think I am?”

“You’re 33,” She answers matter-of-factly.

The light turns green and Hank’s tires skid on the wet pavement as he pulls out, “How the fuck did you know that?”

“I saw your profile on a dating app. Your profile picture is terrible. You should let me take a new one for you.”  
Hank sighs. It makes sense that he never saw Audrey’s profile on the app. He didn’t have his preferred age range set that low. “There’s no need, I won’t be using that anymore. It wasn’t really working out for me.”

“Really? Did you have your height listed? Basic bitches love tall guys.”

“Are you calling yourself basic then?” Hank asks.

Audrey leans back in her seat and stretches her legs out. She’s small enough that the back seat of the cruiser must feel positively roomy to her. “I’m there for the variety. Plus, I mostly just use the app to get dick pics.”

Hank almost chokes on his own saliva, “You mean you actually want them?”

“Only if I ask for them. Otherwise it’s creepy.”

Hank lets that swirl around in his noggin for a minute. He had a girlfriend a few years back that had sent him nudes unexpectedly once. It had felt like Christmas morning to him. “I’m not going to dig into that one,” he says eventually, “You should be careful using apps like that, guys will see a girl and get possessive when they’ve got no right to be, I’ve been called to the scene of a few cases that didn’t end well.”

“Yeah, I was almost one of them, remember? I didn’t meet that guy online though, he was a part of my Dungeons and Dragons group,” Audrey says.

What the hell is it with this girl? She spends her weekends underaged drinking, hitting on cops and soliciting strangers for pictures of their genitals then turns around and plays hobbits and wizards or some shit for fun.

“What was wrong with my profile picture?” Hank asks changing the subject.

“You looked mad as hell, and it was the only photo you had so that’s the only impression you gave off. Did you get any action that way?” She doesn’t seem to feel any embarrassment about asking that question to someone she barely knows.

“How much have you had to drink tonight?” Hank asks, “Besides I thought I was staring at the camera smoldering-ly.”

“Just like a beer and a half,” she responds. “You have a nice smile you know – might be a better way to go.”

Hank doesn’t like to smile in photographs because of the gap between his front teeth, but he doesn’t want to tell her that. “I did get dates with that photo, thank you. And, not that it’s any of your business, but one of them did ask me to spend the night with her.”

Audrey leans forward again, her face close to Hank’s ear, “But you didn’t do it did you?”

How the hell does she know that? Hank keeps his eyes forward on the road trying to make his irritation obvious.

Audrey claps her hands together and laughs, “I knew it! You’re so easy to read.” Hank can see in the mirror that she has a shit-eating grin on her face. “That’s not your style, right? Too spontaneous. You probably need things to be as predictable as possible.”

She’s getting under Hank’s skin, and he has half a mind to kick her out of the car in the rain. He doesn’t have it in him to do it though. Fuck, maybe she’s right. “I’m a cop, I have to deal with unpredictable situations all the time.” Hank isn’t quite yelling, but there’s a definite tinge of anger in his voice.

“That’s your job. I’m talking about you.” Audrey is looking into his eyes through the rearview mirror. “When was the last time you did something that scared you?”

Hank takes a deep breath and makes a sharp, skidding turn off the road. The force knocks Audrey over in her seat. He rolls his cruiser under the streetlights of the empty parking lot of an abandoned shopping center.

“What… what are you doing?” Audrey asks, but Hank ignores her.

There is an area in the back by the loading station of the store that’s blocked from anyone’s view by high concrete walls. Hank hides back here sometimes when he wants to have a quiet lunch break to himself.

Hank brings the cruiser to a sudden stop in the hidden area. Audrey watches with wide eyes as Hank purposefully unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out of the car. He unclips his body camera from his uniform and removes the batteries for good measure. When Hank throws the back door open, Audrey crawls backward until her back is against the door on the opposite side. “Hank, what’s going on?”

She’s wearing strappy sandals and a knee-length skirt. He puts a hand on her bare ankle. “I like the way it sounds when you say my name. I want to hear you scream it.”

“What are you talking about?” her voice pitches higher, and her breaths come in short quick bursts.

Hank kneels down and pulls her leg toward him placing rough kisses from her ankle to the inside of her knee. He lingers there for a moment with his head between her legs. “Do you like this?” his words come out in growl.

“I… I think so.” She looks like she is still trying to process what is happening.

“That’s not good enough,” Hank grabs her by her hips and roughly pulls her closer to him, “I need to hear you say you want it.”

She stares down at him and swallows hard. “I want it.”

Hank gently bites the soft skin near her knee and then continues kissing up her thigh hiking up her skirt as he goes. He stops when he reaches her underwear and presses two fingers into her sensitive heat over the fabric. He rubs her gently. She’s already getting wet, the moisture seeping through her boy briefs. They are panties made for comfort. Hank guesses she hadn’t planned on anyone seeing them tonight. He hooks his fingers under the waistband and pulls them all the way off her legs. He returns a hand to her groin and runs his index finger along her slick slit. Audrey inhales sharply. His rough digit rubs gentle circles on her clit making Audrey moan softly.

Despite his recent dry spell, Hank feels confident in his intimate abilities. If a lady is kind enough to let him near her pussy, he’s going to make sure she has a good time.  
He strokes her like that for a while experimenting with speed and pressure. Audrey is very vocal, which Hank really appreciates. It’s the most reliable way to let your partner know what you like in the heat of the moment. She seems to enjoy herself the most with a firm pressure and a slower speed. Audrey writhes on the leather seats and gropes at her own breasts over her shirt. Hank thinks she might be getting close, but it’s hard to tell. She makes a disappointed noise when he pulls his hand away, “Please don’t stop.”

Hank puts his finger in his mouth tasting her and pulls it out with a pop, “Do you think I’m that cruel?”

Audrey doesn’t have time to answer before he buries his face in her snatch, his tongue licking between her folds. Hank isn’t one to brag, but he knows how to eat a girl out – knows that it’s just as much about sucking as licking – knows that every woman is a little different and how to gauge their reactions to tell what works for them. His own erection presses against the edge of the back seat. He rocks his hips forward occasionally to feel a bit of relief, but this isn’t about him right now. His legs hang out of the car getting soaked in the rain. If someone pulls their car back here for some reason, they are screwed. There’s no mistaking what’s going on. To Hank’s surprise, the danger of situation spurs on his excitement.

Hank licks and sucks at Audrey’s clit as she grasps the back of his head, her nails scratch pleasantly against his scalp. “Hank!” she throws her head back, “I’m close. Don’t stop. Don’t stop!”

There’s what he wanted. Hank finds a motion with his mouth that works well for Audrey, the tip of his tongue pushing firmly into her little bundle of nerves. She sounds like a hot mess when she comes. One hand mashes Hank’s head into her crotch, the other reaches out to grasp the front seat of the car. Hank pulls his mouth away once she rides out her orgasm. She lays limp trying to catch her breath. He gives her a second to recover before diving back in. “Oh shit, oh fuck!” she screams. Her legs come together squeezing Hank’s head between her thighs. Yeah, he fucking loves that. She crosses her ankles behind Hank’s back, and he digs his fingertips into the milky soft flesh near her hips. He makes her come twice more before he decides he’s finished.

Hank’s head is resting against Audrey’s trembling inner thigh. Gently, she runs her hands through his hair. The two of them turn to look at each other, She places a finger lightly on the bridge of his nose, “You’re a fucking deviant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been an interesting experience writing this so far. I think if I write another fic with smut, I'll try writing it from a woman's perspective because this was a challenge.
> 
> Side note: DTU does not exist.
> 
> Anyway, thanks so much for reading this far!


	3. Chapter 3

Hank is ruined.

He is so incredibly ruined.

The shitty fan on the crumbling ceiling of his shitty apartment can’t even begin to cool the burning of his face as he thinks about what happened the night before. He lays on his bed in his boxers with one leg sticking out from under his sheet. What the hell had he been thinking?

It’s 15 minutes before he is supposed to be at work. Every nine minutes the alarm on his phone blasts him back to reality, but he just hits the snooze button and goes back to staring into the abyss.

Hank had driven Audrey home the night before, ignoring the painful arousal in his own pants. They’d barely said a word to each other on the drive back. She didn’t even look back at him as she walked from Hank’s cruiser to her house.

She had asked if they could be friends, and he did that to her. He is a cop, an authority figure. She’s just barely and adult; a girl with a stupid crush on the man who arrested her – and he took advantage of it.

It’s also the dumbest mistake he’s ever made professionally. If anyone ever finds out about what happened that night in the back of that abandoned shopping center – he’ll lose his entire career. A decade of service down the drain.

Hank’s phone blares a tone at him for probably the 15th time that morning, but this time it isn’t his alarm. He barely even gives enough of a shit to look over at the screen, but when he sees it’s Jeffrey calling, he feels he has to answer.

“Man, are you dragging behind today?” are the first words out of his partner’s mouth. Hank usually shows up to work early, either to work out or to catch up on paperwork.

Hank tells him that he isn’t feeling well, and that he will make it in before noon. “You’ll want to drag your ass in here ASAP, Anderson,” Jeffrey says, “There’s a big rumor swirling you’ll want to know about.”

Hank feels the panic rise in his chest, “Yeah what’s it about?”

“You, Hank,” Jeffrey replies. “You and me. Rumor has it we’ve both made detective.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hank bursts into the station 30 minutes later – hair still wet and buttoning up his shirt as he walks through the front door. Their captain calls them into his office immediately and confirms the rumors are true. Hank receives the first real promotion of his career - just hours after the most reckless stunt he’s ever pulled in his life. He should feel relieved, but honestly, he just feels… ashamed? He had played hooky from his job the previous day to address personal business, then performed a sex act on a college girl in the back of his government-issued patrol car – all while on the taxpayer’s dime.

The captain tells Hank and Jeffrey that they’re both moving to narcotics, but the two of them will be split up to work with more experienced partners. It makes Hank nervous. Jeffery has been his partner for years now. A partner is someone an officer has to trust with his life. How can he put that kind of trust into someone he just met?

Their celebration that night rings hollow for Hank, even though he’s waited for this for a decade. Jeffrey goes out with the guys for the first time in Hank can’t remember how long. Officers keep buying Hank shots – most of which he leaves sitting on the bar. He keeps catching glimpses of girls he thinks he recognizes, but then he gets a better look and disappointment washes over him. Jeffrey gets wasted and sings karaoke. Everyone laughs. He knows all the words to “Umbrella” without even looking at the screen. An ominous feeling lingers in Hank’s gut, like at any minute his whole world is going to come crumbling apart. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

There’s a voicemail on the phone at his desk when Hank gets to the station the next morning. It’s from Audrey. He feels nauseous.

“Sorry for calling you at work I wasn’t sure how else to get in touch with you,” she breaths into the phone. “I just wanted to talk to you about the other night. I’d appreciate it if you could give me a call,” she lists off her number.

That night Hank cracks open a beer and then sits on his couch flipping his phone over and over in his hand. He could just let this go. The both of them could write this off as some crazy thing that happened to them in their past. But then again, when is the last time he felt nervous about talking to a girl?

“Hey it’s me… uh it’s Hank,” he says when she answers the phone.

“Shit! Oh – no, not you. Hang on a second.” There’s a clattering that sounds like pots and pans then the sound of footsteps like she’s walking up the stairs, “Sorry, I was helping my roommate with something, and I wanted to talk to you in private.”

“Are you at home right now,” Hank asks.

“Yeah, I’m in my room.” Hank remembers going into Audrey’s bedroom the night of the break-in. The only thing he can recall about it is that she had what looked like a handmade quilt on her bed. At the time he had just been doing his job, but now he’s kicking himself that he can’t remember more about her personal space.

“Look, the other night. That was too aggressive and inappropriate. I – fuck, I shouldn’t have done that. Are you doing okay, with everything?”

“Hank, It’s okay. I mean, it scared me a little at first because I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but – Hank, that was incredible. The danger alone was hot enough, but then… just wow! It was something else.”

It’s like she always knows exactly how to make him feel flustered, “You enjoyed yourself, then?” he asks hesitantly, “You know that can’t happen again. I would lose my job if anyone found out about this, Audrey.”

“Do you think I want to get you in any kind of trouble? Listen, I get that you don’t think that we can be friends, but I can’t get you out of my head. Especially not now. I guess I just wanted to ask if I could see you again. Maybe return the favor?”

Hank takes a swig of beer and rolls that around in his mind. She is still too young for him, but does it really matter at this point? The can of worms has been opened, and he can’t undo what he’s already done. He thinks about the first time he saw her; he thought she looked like a porcelain doll. He can picture the way her hips slope outward from her small waist. He thinks about how smooth Audrey’s legs had felt in his grip, how she tasted while she screamed his name. He wants to hear that again.

“Fine, maybe I can teach you some things,” Hank tries to sound cocky, but he’s not sure if he nailed it.

Audrey agrees to go Hank’s apartment the following Saturday night. He cleans the place up the best he can, but there’s no mistaking its still a bachelor pad. At least there are no empty pizza boxes on the counter or dishes in the sink. Audrey arrives wearing leggings and an oversized hoodie. No need to try and look sexy when you already know you’re getting laid, right? Except Hank still feels a surge of blood to his groin when she walks through the door.

Hank walks into the kitchen to pour them both a glass of wine, and when he returns Audrey is looking at his record collection, “Jazz and death metal? Interesting combo,” she says.

“Yeah, my dad was a big jazz fan. I didn’t learn to appreciate it until I was an adult. Most of this collection I inherited from him. The death metal has stuck with me since high school, though,” he offers her one of the wine glasses and she looks at it and then back up at him. Oh, right. He sets the glass on the coffee table not wanting to make things any more awkward.

“I thought you should know; you won’t have worry about me ruining your nights out anymore. I’m going to be a detective.”

“That’s like a promotion, right?”

“I’ve been working toward this for a long time, but honestly now that I have it, I don’t know if I’m ready.” It feels good to say it out loud to someone. He would never feel comfortable expressing that sort of vulnerability in front of his coworkers.

She turns her attention to his upright piano, “Do you play?” she asks.

“Yeah, a little,” Hank says trying to be modest. He’s quite good, if a bit out of practice. “I have a music degree from Michigan State.”

“I’d love to hear you some day,” she stands there with her hands in the pocket of her hoodie noticeably less confident than she had been when they spoke on the phone.

“So, would you like to go to your room now?”

Hank downs half his wine in one gulp. “Uh, sure if you want.”

Hank’s room is sparse, but homey. Once they’re in there, he isn’t sure how to get things started. He can’t recall if he’d ever had an encounter that was so pre-planned. Thankfully, Audrey decides to take charge of the situation and remove her hoodie. She’s not wearing a shirt underneath, only a lacy pink bralette. It’s pretty shear and Hank’s cock is already beginning to stiffen.

Audrey walks up to him and takes his hand, placing it on her waist. She reaches up and starts unbuttoning Hank’s shirt. He runs his hands up the curve of her waist and rubs his thumb over the lace covering her left nipple. A small content little moan escapes from her throat. She finishes with his shirt buttons and he shrugs it off his shoulders. He hadn’t bothered to put on an undershirt; just one more thing to have to take off.

Audrey grips his biceps with both of her small hands, “You look really strong.”

Hank is just glad she doesn’t seem turned off by the softness of his stomach. Although as he looks at their reflection in his bedroom mirror, he thinks he doesn’t look so bad. Just not as cut as he would like. He is muscular as hell, but too many beers and takeout orders have left him carrying a few extra pounds.

His hands are gripping either side of her rib cage. Hank feels like he could crush her if he wanted to. “Yeah, I’m pretty strong.”

Audrey places a hand on the center of his chest and slowly slides it down to his belt buckle, “Is it alright if I take this off?”

Hank feels a sudden pang of guilt. That night in his cruiser - he had asked if Audrey wanted it, but he knows he could have done a better job of getting her consent. “You can do whatever you want to me,” he tells her. He’s not sure if they are going to fuck tonight or not. He is fine with it if they don’t, but he had gone out and bought fresh condoms and lube earlier in the day just in case.

The corners of Audrey’s mouth turn up into a smile as she looks up at him. The buckle clinks as her thin, nimble fingers unfasten it, and he feels the leather slide around his waist and out of his belt loops.

“Do you want to lay down?” she asks.

Hank nods and lies on the bed flat on his back. His arms feel awkward at his sides, so he puts his hands behind his head with his fingers laced. He is sure he either looks super chill or incredibly nervous.

Audrey pulls her leggings off before crawling onto the bed beside of him. This time she wears lacy panties that match her bra. Hank takes a moment to appreciate that she did that just for him. She runs her hands up and down his thighs a few times, never making the contact he’s anticipating. It’s a wonderful tease, and Hank’s a little impressed that she’s able to read him so well.

Finally, her hand comes to rest on his clothed cock. “Oh!” her eyes widen in surprise. Hank is never sure how to handle this part. He objectively knows he is… well endowed, but he’s a big guy so it just seems proportional to him. Seeing his bulge there under Audrey’s small feminine hands really puts things in perspective, though. “Is uh, everything alright?” Hank asks.

She tries to put on her best poker face, “Yeah, everything’s good.”

Audrey gives him a pleasant squeeze before moving to unbutton his pants. Hank lifts his hips so she can pull them off. She hooks her fingers beneath the bands of his pants and boxers and hesitates a moment before pulling them off. It’s a relief feeling his erection spring free of the confining fabric.

He was expecting her to get straight to work, but instead she runs her hands up and down his thighs again. Then bends over and places soft kisses along the valley where his legs and torso meet. Her hands skim along his sides.

This is… nice? Hank had never quite had a woman pay attention to him this way. Like she was taking her time and enjoying his body.

His dick is aching to be touched, but the novelty of the building anticipation is exciting in a whole new way. He reaches down and runs his fingers through her fine, silky hair. Hank notices she’s quietly humming as she teases him.

Finally, Audrey grasps his cock and licks him from the base to tip. A small noise escapes from Hank’s throat that’s a little more high-pitched than he thought it was going to be. She strokes him slowly for a bit, which is good. Hank isn’t in any hurry tonight. Her hands are small and soft and make him feel huge, which he hadn’t realized he’s into until this moment. He tended to gravitate toward tall women in his past relationships. Hank and Audrey probably look like they are different species standing beside each other.

She runs her tongue across the head of his cock a couple of times before pulling back and resuming her slow pumps. Hank realizes she is probably trying to figure out her best approach. He’s _thick_ and girls having trouble blowing him isn’t something new to Hank. Eventually it seems she decides to just go for and takes him into her mouth. It takes her a few seconds, but she finds an angle from the side where she can get a good motion going.

Hank hopes she isn’t feeling bad about how things are going. “That’s good,” he tells her. “You’re doing great.”

Audrey makes a “Hmmmm” sound and the vibration feels delicious. She’s on her knees on the bed one hand holding herself up, the other stroking his shaft. Hank puts a hand on her ass cheek and squeezes. He’s wanted to do that ever since the night she was wearing those overalls.

Her hair is hanging down the side of her face blocking Hank’s view of what she’s doing. He reaches over with his other hand and gently moves it over to the other side of her neck. Yeah, that’s better. He moves the hand on her ass down to rub between her legs. The lacy fabric there is already damp.

He watches her there sucking him off. Occasionally she tries to take him too deep into her throat and she makes a small choking sound, He thinks about telling her that she doesn’t have to do that, but he doesn’t want to seem like he’s trying to boss her around.

Hank wants to take off her bra, but he realizes there aren’t any hooks on the front or back of it. It will have to come off over her head. He pushes his fingers underneath the edge of lace on her back stroking the skin underneath. Audrey gets the message pulling her mouth off his cock with a pop. She yanks the bralette off quickly - eager to get back to work.

Hank welcomes her enthusiasm, but she seems… inexperienced isn’t the right word. It’s like she is trying too hard to make this good for him while she’s still learning how to deal with his size.

“Hey, you wanna try something else for a minute? I’m getting close and I don’t want this to be over yet.” It’s a lie, but Hank has good intentions.

Audrey stops sucking, giving his head one last lick for good measure. One of her hands rests on the base of his cock as she maneuvers her body between his legs. Hank puts his hands behind his head again a little hesitant. He isn’t sure where this is going as she lowers her head. Gently, she sucks one of his balls into her mouth. It’s a bold move to pull the first time you give a guy oral, but luckily for the both of them this is pretty much Hank’s fetish.

She swirls her tongue around his sack in the warm wetness of her mouth sucking each of his testicles in one at a time. The hand on his cock starts stroking him again and Hank’s back honest to God arches off the bed.

“Keep doing that – Please!” Christ, Hank realizes how desperate he sounds, but this is one of his top sexual fantasies and all his past partners either didn’t want to do it or they would only do it for a second before moving on to something else.

Audrey listens to him and continues to lavash his balls with attention, her tongue nimbly moves over the sensitive skin. She keeps jerking him quickly with a firm grip sending a shock through his nerves every time her palm glides over his cock head. Hank’s hands fly down to claw at his comforter and undignified sounds escape from his mouth. He is really regretting his earlier fib because _this_ is entirely too much.

He tries to hold it together – thinking about work, the bet he placed on the Lion’s game, that unopened bag of spring mix sitting in his fridge that he really should throw out.

“Audrey – I – I,” but it’s too late and Hank knows it. He comes with an exasperated yell, his hot semen spurting onto his own chest. Audrey keeps her mouth fixed on his sack, her hand pumping him through his orgasm.

“Wow, that’s a lot of come,” is the first thing Hank hears once his brain is back on Earth. He looks down at the mess strewn across his torso. It’s not a larger amount than usual for him, but maybe he just jizzes more than most guys. He’s never really thought about it before.

“Was that good for you?” she asks a little too timidly for a girl whose mouth had been full of ballsack moments before.

“I think it’s safe to say I enjoyed myself,” Hank replies. “Let me get cleaned up a little then I’ll be back to work on you.”

“It’s fine,” she says crawling off the bed, “I have somewhere else I need to be in a little bit.”

By the time Hank gets out of the shower, Audrey is pulling her hoodie back on.

“Have another date tonight?” he asks trying not to sound jealous. Audrey isn’t his girlfriend. They’d never even been on an actual “date.”

“No, my D&D group meets at nine,” she says hopping on one foot as she pulls on a boot, “It’s my first time as D.M. and I don’t want to fuck things up.”

“What’s a D.M.?” Hank asks.

“Dungeon Master.”

“I get the feeling that’s probably not as kinky as it sounds,” Hank says.

Audrey laughs, “Oh, not by a long shot.”

Hank doesn’t want to make things awkward when they had been going so well, but he can’t let her walk out the door without getting something off his mind, “Look, I’ve never really had anything like this before. Like something casual like this. I mean, I’ve had plenty of… experience, but there were always attachments.”

“What are you worried about?” she asks.

“Just let me know if I overstep in any way. I’d like to keep seeing you, and I’m a dumbass sometimes. I don’t want to mess anything up.”

“Have you ever had a one-night stand?” It’s a brusque question, but Hank had come to expect that from her.

He shoves his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, “I – I guess not. How about you?” he counters.

She smiles and throws her backpack over her shoulder, “Good night, Hank.”

Audrey shows herself to the front door. “For what it’s worth, I’d be really disappointed if I didn’t see you again too,” she says before closing the door behind her.

When Hank walks back into his bedroom, he notices that a pad of sticky notes and a pen he keeps in his nightstand drawer have been taken out. One of the notes is stuck to his bedroom mirror.

In neat cursive it reads: _“Success is no accident.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized the first couple of chapters may have been a bit long, so I'm trying to break things up more.
> 
> Just so you know, this story will eventually loop back around to the time period of chapter one, but it's going to be a while before we get there.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 _It’s probably all for the best,_ Hank thinks as he sets the carboard box down at his new desk. He needs to put all his focus into proving that he belongs in narcotics. He and Jeffery are introduced to their new partners that morning. Jeffrey’s is an easy-going chubby guy about year from retirement who always seems to have a milkshake in his hand.

Hank’s new partner is a late-forties hardass with a chip on her shoulder about being assigned a new detective as a partner, “Listen, shitstain, when we get our first case together, just stay out of my way. It’s going to take you a couple of years to get figure out your ass from a hole in the ground.”

Hank wants to tell her to fuck off, but he just grins and bares it because his job is too important. He evens listens to her and just observes… for their first case.

Their second case Hank cracks himself, leading to a major heroin bust – drugs with a street value of more than three million dollars - off the streets of Detroit. It makes the evening news. His captain congratulates him in front of the whole department. His partner is livid.

Hank has just settled down on the couch with a beer to watch a match when Audrey texts him for the first time in a couple of weeks to congratulate him. She says she saw Hank on the news. They text back and forth for a while about Hank’s new job, about his partner, about his career goals. Shit, he sounds like he has no life outside of work.

They’ve been texting sporadically for a couple of hours when he realizes they have only been talking about him the whole time. Hank asks if she has any plans for the weekend to try to shift the focus away from himself.

  * _I turn 21 on Thursday, but I have a big test on Friday. Going out with some friends on Saturday._


  * Can I meet you somewhere first? Want to buy you your first legal drink


  * _The cop who arrested me for underage drinking wants to buy me a drink now? The irony._


  * That’s about the size of it
  * _Sounds like a date._



Hank has to admit that she has a point, but that hadn’t been his intention.

  * You wanted to be friends right? Just want to buy you a friendly drink
  * _So, are we friends with benefits, then?_



Ugh, Hank hates that term, but fine.

  * If you really feel the need to put a label on it
  * _Do your friends know?_
  * _About us?_



He’s never been the type to kiss and tell, and he doesn’t have many close friends these days anyway besides Jeffrey. God, Jeffrey who married his high school sweetheart and has his perfectly respectable middle-class house and family and life. He can’t even imagine how his old partner would react if he told him about Audrey and himself.

  * I haven’t told anyone
  * Have you?
  * _No, I don’t want to get you in trouble at your job._
  * I appreciate that
  * As long as no one finds out about what happened in the car I don’t think my job is at risk
  * Just because I’m a cop doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to have a life
  * _Good, I’d hate to think you don’t want to be seen with me in public._
  * _Do you want to meet me at a bar on Saturday?_



Hank looks up the address of a pub he had in mind. It is way too hipster for his own taste, but it’s a pretty good place to take a girl on a _not_ date. She agrees and says it’s not far from where she’s meeting her friends anyway.

  * _You know we can’t fool around that night, sorry._
  * I know. It’s fine.
  * _Maybe I can_ do _something nice for you anyway._



The next text he receives is an image. It shows Audrey’s torso from her neck to her belly button. She is wearing a heavy gray sweater that she's pulled up revealing her breasts. They are small and perky, her nipples a dusty pink. Hank had seen her topless the night she came to his apartment, but this feels like something special. Like she is giving him a memento of herself to enjoy whenever he wants.

  * Wow that is nice
  * Not sending you one back though
  * I hear you already have a good collection going anyway
  * _You think I need a pic to remember that dick?_
  * _I have it cemented into my memory in High Def._
  * _At least 15% of my gray matter is currently devoted to your penis._



It’s one of the few things he can ever remember receiving complements on his in his life. He wonders if they’d write in on his tombstone. ‘Here lies Hank Anderson. A few beers short of a six pack. Built like Frankenstein’s Monster. Great cock, though.’

He confirms a time to meet with her and then goes back to watching television feeling compelled to look at Audrey’s photo every ten minutes or so. Hank’s living room feels cozier to him that night than usual. He falls asleep on the couch with peculiar warmth radiating through his chest.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hank loves the way the city looks when it rains. It’s an anomaly because everything else about the rain pisses him off. He hates driving in it and walking in it. He hates the puddles it leaves behind that he never seems to miss an opportunity to inadvertently stomp through, but there is something beautiful to Hank about a water-drenched Detroit at night.

It is coming down in sheets that Saturday when Hank walks into the bar. Audrey is already there waiting for him watching something on her phone. He shakes out his umbrella and leaves it sitting by the door. It’s one of those pretentious places with exposed lightbulbs hanging down from the ceiling and those uncomfortable raised metal chairs that are too small for anyone’s ass.

He pulls up a seat next to her at the bar stretching an arm across the back of the chair. She looks up at him from the video she’s watching, “Can I help you, officer?”

Hank smiles, “Yeah, looks like I’m going to have to arrest you on charges of not raising enough hell on your birthday. Might have to revoke your student I.D.”

“My birthday was two days ago,” she smiles back at him.

“Still counts.”

Audrey picks up the drink menu, “The last time you caught me raising hell you put me in handcuffs.”

“That was beat cop Anderson. You’re talking to Detective Anderson now,” Hank raises a hand to get the bartender’s attention, “What’s your poison?”

“Do you want to do a shot with me?”

Hank wonders if she chose a shot because she wants to get out of there and go hang out with her friends. “Whiskey?” He asks.

“Rum.”

Hank orders them each a shot, and Audrey is disappointed that the bartender doesn’t even ask to see her I.D. They clink their tiny glasses together, “To a life full of adventures,” she says and knocks back her drink like a champ.

Hank chuckles to himself because that sounds exactly like some bullshit a college student would say. He drains his glass and enjoys burn of the liquor in his throat.

“How’d your test go?”

She shifts her body sideways in her seat to face Hank at the bar, “You remembered?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“You haven’t been very interested in my personal life.”

“I don’t think that’s fair,” Hank says pulling a couple of bucks out of his wallet to leave as a tip, “It’s not like we’ve had an ample amount of deep conversations.”

She is silent for a moment, “My test went really well. I think I might be able to land this programming internship I’ve been eyeing. It’s really competitive though, so I shouldn’t get my hopes up.”

Hank hasn’t given much thought to what sort of student Audrey might be. His own university days had been spent shotgunning beers and pranking other frat houses. It’s a wonder he had walked away with a degree at all. “I think if it’s something you want, you’re not going to let anyone else get in your way.”

“That’s nice of you to say, Hank.” She runs her index finger around the rim of her empty shot glass. “Would you like to come over to my place next weekend? My roommate’s going to be out of town… I’ve been thinking a lot,” she lowers her voice, “about the last time we were together.”

Hank leans in closer to her, “Yeah, what do you do when you think about it?”

“Maybe I can show you? If you want.”

“Well there’s an idea,” Hank replies cheekily. They’re so close he can feel the heat coming off her body.

Audrey closes the distance between them and places her lips gently on his before quickly pulling away. It’s the first time they have kissed. Her eyes grow wide, “Shit, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that. I just got carried away.”

Hank’s deep laugh reverberates through the room, “I’m not some romcom hooker. You’re allowed to kiss me.”

“It just didn’t seem appropriate, you know, between us. Given what we are.” She looks like she’s struggling with something.

“I mean, you don’t have to, but if you wanna it’s fine.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

She looks despondent and Hank has the urge to cheer her up, but the fact is he just doesn’t know her well enough to know how. He does want to know her better, and that knowledge gives Hank pause, “Is there anything else wanna do next weekend… with me? You know, besides the obvious?”

The bartender comes over to asks if they wanted another round and Audrey waves him away, “Hank, I think just the obvious might be for the best, at least for me.”

“You can’t complain about me not knowing about your personal life, and then get mad at me when I try,” Hank says.

She sets her shot glass on the bar sharply, “Look, maybe you should spend the next week thinking about what it is that you want from me. I really can’t handle the mixed messages.” Audrey hops down from her seat at the bar, “Thank you for the drink, but I need to go meet me friends now.”

Hank watches her walk out the door unsure of where he went wrong.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Given some time to dwell on it, Hank is able to admit to himself that he has no right to be upset with Audrey for not understanding how he feels. The two of them are just at completely different places in life. What would the they do together? What would happen if she introduced him to her friends? Hank imagines they’d be horrified that their cute little classmate is fucking a big scary looking cop.

But they haven’t actually had sex yet. Maybe it’s not too late to just blow things off. Hank would be able to forget about her given some time. It’s probably what he needs, but it’s not what he wants.

He wants to learn about her interests, her hobbies, what she plans on doing when she gets out of school. He wants to hear about her friends and classes. Hank wants to know what she looks like when he’s balls deep inside her pounding her to climax.

Hank barely notices as the work week flies by. He’s been doing a lot of leg work investigating a drug ring smuggling fake prescription opioids from China. He’s working late Friday night at the station. The other detectives have already called it a day, but Hank knows if he can take down these traffickers, it will put him in very good standing with his captain. All the lights are out except for the one on his desk. He thinks he’s tracked down one of the leader’s social media accounts, and he’s using tagged locations in photos to try to connect the dots with known undercover transactions.

Hank is so absorbed in his work it startles him when the text alarm on his phone goes off. It’s Audrey. She wants to know if he’s still coming over tomorrow.

  * Yeah if you want me to.



He doesn’t include the fact that he’s been thinking about it all week.

  * _I do want you to._
  * _What are you doing right now?_



Hank starts to text back just the word “working,” but thinks it makes him sound boring. Instead he decides to do something he never does and opens his camera app, flipping it over to the front facing camera. He snaps a photo of himself sitting at his desk surrounded by case files. He decides this makes him look much more interesting.

  * _You’re not wearing your uniform._
  * I don’t have to anymore. Most of the time anyway
  * _That’s a shame._



Hank smirks to himself. A well-pressed uniform can make even the most potato-faced schlub appealing to the ladies. At least she isn’t mad at him anymore.

  * Don’t know if I can wait until tomorrow. May need another photo to hold me over.



What the hell. He might as well give it a shot. Besides he has the feeling Audrey probably loves showing off for him.

  * _Do you have facetime?_



Hank swallows hard. This really isn’t the time or the place for this, but in a way that makes it all more appealing. His phone rings in his hand, indicating he’s getting a video call from Audrey.

When he answers, the picture on the screen moves rapidly as Audrey sets her phone down. It looks like she is propping it up on something on the foot of her bed. She sits in front of the headboard with her legs tucked to her side. She’s wearing some sort of silky looking gray robe. Hank hears music faintly playing in the background, but he can’t make out what it is.

Hank suddenly remembers that she can also see him. He’s looking down at his phone in lap, which really isn’t a good angle for anyone. He sets the phone against his computer monitor so Audrey sees him sitting behind his desk. If anyone looks at the security camera footage of his office right now, it would just look like he is reading something on the computer screen.

Audrey holds a finger up to her lips in a shushing motion. She must not be home alone tonight. Hank nods at her request, and she smiles at him.

“Is anyone else around?” she whispers.

Hank shakes his head no.

Her hair is down and it falls in waves past her shoulders. She’s sitting on top of what looks like a handmade quilt. It strikes Hank as such a southern thing to own and he thinks she must have brought it with her when she moved to Michigan.

He watches her rise to her knees her thighs pale and smooth beneath the hem of her robe. She turns to the side and hikes up the fabric over her backside. She isn’t wearing any underwear and he has a great view of her ass in profile. Audrey places her hands on the small of her back and runs them over her curves. Hank imagines his own hefty hands doing the same, and he can feel his pants getting tighter. She sinks back down with her legs crossed before slowly uncrossing them fully revealing herself.

Hank catches a glimpse of himself in the small screen of his phone. He looks pathetic, hunched over staring at the screen with wide eyes. Like he might start drooling at any second.

A blush spreads over Audrey’s face. He wishes he was there to cradle her cheek in his hand. She still has on the robe, but all the fabric is pulled up above her waist. Her hand reaches down to rub herself.

 _Fuck, yeah._ Hank thinks to himself sliding his chair farther under his desk. He gropes himself through his pants, his large fingers squeezing his hard cock. He wants to do more, but he knows he’s on camera. It’s _exhilarating._ Christ, could he be into this? The danger of knowing that he could be caught? Now the stupid thing he did in the patrol car is starting to make a lot more sense. He’ll have to unpack this later.

Hank watches as Audrey rubs her clit with her delicate fingers. The video is grainy, and the lighting isn’t great, but that just adds to the quality for him. This isn’t some porn he’s watching. This is a real girl doing this just for him because she’s _into him._

He takes a moment to study what she’s doing for future reference. She rubs upward on her clit with a firm pressure, which is exactly what Hank surmised that she liked when he went down on her. Her other hand grabs at her breasts over her robe. He wonders if she’s doing that to try to make this hot for him, but then he remembers her doing the same thing before.

Audrey’s head is thrown back and she’s making sweet little noises. Probably trying not to be too loud. She sits up suddenly grabbing her phone and pulling it close to her face. “I want to see you,” she breaths into the speaker.

“You can see me right now,” Hank says as quietly as he can.

“No, I want to see you touch yourself too,” she pleads.

“I’m at work Audrey, there’re security cameras…” He rubs the space between his eyebrows with the heel of his hand, “Fuck, hang on.”

Hank takes his phone and grabs the jacket off the back of his chair. He knows there are no cameras in the staff break room. That’s really his only option besides the bathroom which he doesn’t want to do. He holds his jacket at his waist and tries his best to casually walk across the station. It’s unlikely that anyone would be checking the security cam footage from tonight, but he’d rather not be caught on surveillance footage walking around with a raging hard on.

He punches the code into the lock on the breakroom door and walks inside. As an extra precaution her grabs a chair and jams it against the door so no one can open it if they happened to drop by. There’s a couch on the far side of the room and Hank stretches out on it. It’s dim in here; only the light above the sink is on. He checks his phone to make sure Audrey can still see him. He can make out the features of his own face, so he guesses that’s good enough. Audrey is now sitting up cross legged on her bed, “Where are you now?” she asks.

“In the break room. Needed some privacy,” Hank replies quietly.

He leaves the screen facing himself but flips the camera to the one on the other side of his phone. The device is sitting on Hank’s ribcage, so the shot is now focused on the crotch of his jeans. He’s softened a bit in the time it took him to move, but his arousal is still very apparent. He squeezes his cock again through his pants, but this time Audrey can see him. She’s moved her face very close the camera so she can see what Hank is doing better. He’s surprised by how much he appreciates the voyeurism. This is the first time he’s ever done something like this, and he is a little nervous. He’d never even had a girl watch him jerk off in person before.

Hank plays with himself a little over his jeans before he opens his fly and pulls his dick out. He’s leaking precome and it drips onto his stomach. Audrey makes a quiet “Mmmmmh” sound and lays back on the bed. She’s moved the phone to her side now so she can watch Hank and still get her body in the frame. The silk tie on her robe has come undone and she pulls it open and rolls over to give Hank a full view of her bare body.

“Jesus, you look amazing,” he tells her.

Audrey responds by reaching between her legs to touch herself again.

Hank is slowly pleasuring himself, his thumb sliding over the head of his cock with each stroke. His own large hands make his cock look average in size. He isn’t really looking at himself, though. He’s watching Audrey with one hand between her legs. He can see the sheen of wetness on her fingers. Her other hand rubs an erect pink nipple.

“I wish I could fuck you right now,” Hank whispers.

“Do you think it will fit?” she asks.

 _Yeah,_ Hank thinks. _With some effort._ He doesn’t want her to worry about it right now though. “I can definitely make it worth your while.”

That seems to please her, and she goes back to making small delicious noises.

Hank goes slow. He knows he finished relatively quick that night at his apartment, and he doesn’t want her to think he can’t last more than a few minutes without busting a nut. He takes time to savor the moment – watching Audrey pleasure herself. Enjoying that she is getting herself off while watching him.

Then the dam breaks. Audrey slaps one hand over her mouth – the other working furiously as she comes.

“Oh baby, that’s great,” he tells her. Hank waits until she stops panting. “Can you do that for me again?” He feels his own orgasm building as well.

Audrey’s hand resumes its work, but slower now. She comes again, a high-pitched sound escaping from her mouth despite her best efforts. She’s sweating and breathing heavy. Hank takes advantage of a second when she’s not looking at him to set his phone down grab some tissues from a box sitting on the table behind his head. She’s still recovering when he picks up the phone. “You have another one in you, or are wiped out?” He asks.

She turns her head to look at the screen, “I think I’m done.” She sounds exhausted.

Hank is satisfied with that. He tucks his phone beneath his chin so Audrey can watch as he strokes himself with one hand. He comes harder than he expected, ejaculating into his other hand holding the tissues. He clenches his teeth trying to bite back a moan.

So much blood has rushed from Hank’s head that his ears are ringing. He picks his phone up with one hand flipping the camera back around so he and Audrey can see each other. She’s tied her robe together and is now laying on her stomach resting her head in her hands, “Hey there handsome.” Her face is still flush and she’s smiling at him with an amused expression on her face.

“Hey beautiful,” Hank replies while still trying to recover.

The two of them agree on a time to meet the next night and Hank gets off the phone so he can clean up. He tucks his softening cock back into his pants. He’s sensitive and his jeans feel uncomfortable. In his post orgasm clarity, he feels guilty for what he’s just done. He makes a promise to himself that this is the last time he ever lets something happen while he’s meant to be working. Shear dumb luck is the only reason he’s not been caught yet.

Hank walks to the bathroom to dispose of the tissues. He loves his job. He has put a decade of work into getting this promotion; overtime he didn’t clock, putting himself into sketchy situations to get the job done. He wants to blame Audrey for encouraging him to be so reckless, but the previous incident had been pretty much 100 percent on him, hadn’t it?

The ticking of a clock echoes through the dark, empty office.

What the hell is he doing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been interesting exploring what Hank might have been like when he was younger. Sorry if he's being frustrating right now. He's stubborn as hell, but he's still a good guy.


	5. Chapter 5

Hank doesn’t usually listen to jazz while he drives. He finds that death metal matches his mood while fighting Detroit traffic. Today is different though. Today Billie Holiday croons to him through his stereo as he drives through the tree-lined streets near the DTU campus.

He is feeling open-minded about what might happen tonight with Audrey and himself. The video call last night has left him hungry to get his hands on her warm soft skin again, but he also hopes they will get the chance to talk. The conversation had turned sour the last time they’d spoken in person, and he wants to get some things out in the open.

A jolt of anxiety hits his gut when he parks in front of her house. He suddenly feels like he’s in high school about to go on his first date. There’s a cute young college girl inside who wants to have sex with him… probably. But it’s more than that. Audrey pushes him out of his comfort zone. He can’t remember the last time he felt passionate about anything other than his work. He found himself counting down the hours until he could see her again.

Audrey answers the door wearing a simple black dress. She smiles and tells him she’s glad to see him.

Hank thinks about the milky skin she’s hiding underneath the garment. The slight peaks of her breasts and the way her waist curves out into her hips.

The second she closes the door behind them, he blocks her in. His hands grab her sides and slide down to grope her ass. His imposing presence looms over her tiny frame. Hank grips the tops of her thighs and lifts her like its nothing. She gives a small squeal of surprise. Then his mouth is all over her, kissing her neck and the shell of her ear. He has her pinned against the door with his body weight. Her legs wrap around torso. her fingers latch onto the hair on the back of his head, nails digging into his scalp.

Hank kisses her then. Not the way she had kissed him last week at the bar. He smashes his mouth against hers desperately. She responds immediately kissing him back in a complementary rhythm. Her teeth gently nibble at his bottom lip and it sends a shot of heat to his crotch.

Audrey pulls back from the embrace and puts her lips against his ear. “Take me to bed.”

Hank doesn’t need to be told twice. He carries her up the stairs like that, strong arms gripped around her body. The bedroom door is shoved open and he carries her in, heaving her down onto the quilt of her bed. Audrey pops right back up and grabs the collar of Hank’s jacket pulling him down on top of her. She doesn’t seem to mind the rough treatment. Good.

Bright rays of sunshine stream through the windows. It’s not exactly a sultry atmosphere, but Hank doesn’t give a single shit.

He feels like he might be crushing her, but she’s sucking and biting at Hank’s neck from beneath him, her hips grinding up into his. He grips her sides holding them in place.

“Slow down,” he orders.

He sits up for a moment to pull his jacket off. The cool air feels good on his forearms. He hadn’t realize how hot he’s gotten. Taking advantage of their momentary separation, he puts his hands up her dress and yanks her panties off. Hank drops to his knees on the floor and pulls her legs over his shoulders. Audrey’s looking down an him expectantly. His thumb presses into her slick center firmly rubbing upwards. She moans appreciatively as he copies what he learned from watching her touch herself.

Hank thinks the biggest mistake most men (Hell, probably most people) make during sex is not being adaptable. They learn how to pleasure the first partner they ever really get to spend any time with, and then they try to use the exact same moves on everyone they sleep with for the rest of their lives. But people aren’t cookie cutter models of each other.

Audrey’s hums of appreciation are all Hank needs to know he’s doing it right. His other hand rubs lower at her opening and slips a testing finger inside her wet heat. He hadn’t done this that night in his patrol car, so this is a new experience with her. His thumb keeps working on her clit while he slips another finger inside, hooking them upward. He presses into different places along her wall. _Somewhere…_

A hand abruptly lands on the top of his head and pulls his hair hard. Audrey makes a sound somewhere between a moan and a purr. _Guess that’s it._

“Oh God, sorry,” she says releasing her grip.

“S’fine. Don’t worry about it.” It hurt, but he kind of enjoyed it. Hank is learning all sorts of new things about himself lately.

He switches to pleasuring her with one hand so he can reach down and free his erection from his pants. He gives himself a couple of good strokes before turning his attention back to her.

She’s kneading her breasts over her clothes. “Take your shirt off. I want to see you,” she says.

Hank glances down at his body suddenly feeling self-conscious. It’s stupid because she had seen him with his shirt off before. _Don’t worry so much, Anderson._

He grabs the bottom of her dress pulls it over her head, “Ladies first.” She’s wearing a normal bra today, and Hank wraps an arm around her back and effortlessly unhooks it with one hand.

“What a badass,” she says. Hank can’t tell if she’s being sarcastic or not.

Audrey sits up and grabs at the fabric of his shirt lifting it up to his chest. He reaches behind his head and finishes pulling it off. She tries to grab his arms and start kissing him again, but Hank grips her shoulders and pushes her back down to the bed. His hands stroke up and down the sides of her ribcage, then he lunges in taking her breast into his mouth. Gently, he sucks, teases, and flicks her nipple with his tongue. His right hand returns to work, two fingers inside her and his thumb on her clit.

She’s writhing so much Hank has to use his body to hold her down. Nearly his entire hand is coated in her wetness. Audrey’s face and chest are flushed red.

His cock is wedged between his body and the edge of the bed, and he rocks his hips occasionally to find some relief. This is going great so far, but right now he needs to know what’s going to happen next.

He inches up the bed to put his face next to hers. “How’s riding this cock sound?” he growls into her ear.

His hand is still relentlessly rubbing her and she’s too flustered to speak so she nods her head vigorously. Hank wants to make her come before they start because he thinks it will probably make things easier. He grabs her by her hair with his free hand and pulls her into a deep kiss that he doesn’t break until she’s moaning uncontrollably into his mouth.

He’s too worked up to worry about foreplay for himself so he gives her a second to recover. God, they haven’t even fucked, and she already looks wrecked laying on her bed taking deep breaths.

Hank picks his jacket up off the floor and notices a stuffed elephant sitting on a bookshelf. It’s worn and tattered like she had slept with it every night when she was a kid. He turns his back to it trying to put the toy out of his mind.

He reaches into an inner pocket of his jacket and pulls out a condom. There’s a small bottle of lube in there too. She’s so wet right now it seems unnecessary, but he grabs it anyway.

The mattress creeks when Hank sits down to finish undressing himself. Audrey is starting to sit up now, and he lies down flat on his back. Her bed is queen size in width, but there’s no footboard and his feet and over the edge. She watches with glazed-over eyes as he gives himself a few good strokes then tears open the condom and rolls it on.

“I’d feel better about it if you start on top,” he says while coating his sheathed cock in lubricant.

Audrey crawls over and throws a leg over his torso straddling him. Her small hand reaches down to grip his shaft and Hank suddenly feels like a colossus. “I’m a little nervous,” she says.

“Hey, you’re in control right now.” Hank tells her. “Just take it slow. I’m not in any rush.”

She takes a deep breath and lowers herself down. He feels the head of his cock press between her folds…

Then nothing happens. She looks at him with worried eyes. “It’s not going in.”

He keeps his cool. This has happened before. “Just relax. Keep trying for a minute and if it doesn’t work out, we’ll try again later.” His voice is reassuring and calm. He wants her to know she isn’t doing anything wrong.

Audrey closes her eyes and starts using his cock to rub herself on the outside. She slides the head from her clit to her opening back and forth until she’s humming soft pleasurable noises. It’s a nice feeling for Hank as well.

Then, he feels the very tip push inside. Her eyebrows furrow, and Hank can tell she’s not feeling great. “Take it slow,” he tells her again grasping her sides.

Inch by inch she gradually takes more of him inside of her. Hank has to fight every instinct he has to keep from thrusting upward. To her credit, she’s taking it like a champ. He expects to bottom her out at some point, but to his surprise she’s able to go all the way down.

Hank reaches up and strokes her hair, “Good girl.”

She smiles at the praise, “Just let me sit here for a minute.”

She takes a moment before she starts riding him, and _shit_ it’s good. Her thighs power her up and down, and her small breasts bounce each time she heaves her body down. Hank thinks she looks beautiful like this. He’s never recorded himself having sex before, but now he thinks he understands why people do it. He wants to be able to go back and relive this moment for the rest of his life.

Hank lets her stay on top until his orgasm hits him like a freight train. He grips the sides of the bed and roars until he’s spent. Audrey is still perched on him when he’s able to process information again, “That was fantastic baby, you did great.”

As far as first times went, this was one of his better encounters. Being especially well endowed was more of a mixed bag than most people thought. He shudders thinking about the night he lost his virginity.

She rolls over onto the bed next to him, “That was… a lot.”

“It’ll get easier the more we do it.” He reaches out to grab her hand, but she pulls it away.

“You think this is something you want to do regularly?” she asks.

It hadn’t even occurred to him that it wouldn’t be. “Yeah, was it – it wasn’t too bad for you was it?” Hank sits up concerned.

Audrey gets out of bed and starts searching for her clothes, “It was fine. I mean – it hurt, but then it felt pretty good.”

The pair of them clean themselves up and go downstairs. Audrey puts some frozen cheese sticks in the oven, and they eat them with marinara sauce while playing one of her video games. Hank hasn’t played a video game since he was in high school, but this one is an updated version of a game he remembers playing on Super Nintendo as a kid. He sucks at it, and his hands feel too big for the controller. He’s having fun, though.

Hank is still in his boxers, and she’s wearing pajama pants. A candle is burning that smells like some sort of chocolatey dessert. The two of them chat more that night than all of the previous nights combined. He finds out that Audrey’s roommate comes from a wealthy family and rents a room out to Audrey on the cheap provided she does most of the chores. They talk about Audrey’s classes, her career goals, even a little about her friends.

Hank sheepishly asks if she’s been seeing anyone else, and she tells him, “No, not for a while.”

“Would you like to keep things that way? You know, simple – just you and me?” He asks.

The character in the game Audrey’s playing takes an impromptu death dive off a cliff. She drops the controller on the ground. “I can’t keep doing this.”

He puts a hand on her knee. “I know it was rough, but you’ll get used to it. We’ll work on you some more first if we need to.”

“You really think this is about your dick? Hank, you won’t even admit that we’re dating, and you’re asking if we can be exclusive?”

He hangs his head. Yeah, that’s a thing. His body scrunches down into the couch and he leans back to stare at the ceiling. “I know I’ve been an asshole about this, and I’m willing to own up to it. Sometimes I just feel like a creep who’s taking advantage of you. I know you’re an adult on paper, but when I was your age I didn’t have a fucking clue. How would your friends feel about this?”

“I don’t know,” Audrey admits, “but it’s not any of their business. And you shouldn’t feel like you’re taking advantage of me. I was the one who started all of this in the first place.” She’s ringing the fabric of her pajama pants in her hands. “Do you have feelings like that about me at all? You know, like romantically?”

 _Well, yeah_. Hank thinks, but he’s too bullheaded to come out and say that. “I think I like you in most ways that I can like you.” Goddamn, he should write poetry.

“Then I’m not going to try to talk you into anything, but I don’t think it’s fair of you to make requests of me like that.”

She’s right, and Hank knows it. And truly, he isn’t sure what his hang up is here. There’s a chance his friends at work could judge him, call him a cradle-robbing pervert. At the end of the day, maybe he feels like he’s trying to keep a barrier up to protect her from himself.

He sits up to face her, “Audrey, what if we do say we’re dating? Just casually. Like it’s no big deal or nothing.”

“It kind of feels like that’s what’s going on already.”

“Then, if that’s good with you, it’s good with me.” He gives her a smile.

The rest of their night passes pleasantly enough. They watch the first half of a cheesy action movie and Audrey falls asleep on his shoulder. He wakes her up when the movie is over and she apologizes for passing out on him. “I’ve been putting a lot of late nights into my internship application lately. Besides, I got a real workout today.” She winks at him.

She sees Hank out the door, and for the first time in years he drives home without listening to music – replaying the day’s events in his mind.

When he gets home, he finds a post-it note in his pocket. It says in that same cursive writing, “ _You’re stronger than whatever you’re afraid of.”_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hank doesn’t notice until he gets out of the shower the next morning, that he has a rather noticeable bite mark on his neck. It causes him a mild panic because Jeffrey has invited him to have dinner with his family that evening to catch up on their new positions. Between work and Jeffrey’s family – he rarely has time to speak with his best friend anymore.

He rushes out buys three new turtleneck sweaters, doing his best hide the mark with the collar of his jacket while at the store. He wonders if Audrey left the mark on purpose, but she hadn’t said anything about it, and they were together for hours afterward. It’s entirely possible she did it to be a little shit. Christ knows why that thought makes him smile.

He gets to Jeffrey’s house right on time. Hank hates making people wait for him. The Fowlers have a warm, busy home filled the shrieks of children and the smell of something delicious in the oven. They have a set of twins, a boy and a girl who are five, and then a two-year-old toddler who Hank thinks might actually be a clone of his father.

The kids love Hank and he sits on the living room floor and lets them crawl all over him. He’s like a human jungle gym who picks them up and spins them around. Maya has to come in and calm them all down before dinner.

After they eat Hank and Jeffrey sit on the back porch drinking beer. The two men have known each other a long time. They had been classmates, although Jeffrey was always a few grades ahead of him. They played on their high school basketball team together. Then Hank had gone to college, and Jeffrey joined the Air Force. He later decided to join the PD with Hank so he could settle down with his wife and start a family.

The setting sun casts a golden hew across the Fowler’s backyard. They’re a couple of beers deep and discussing the details of their latest cases.

“I swear – four bags of methamphetamine – In. His. Ass,” Jeffrey says taking a long swig from his bottle.

“Better you than me.” Hank replies.

“Your day is gonna come, Hank. You never know when. You never know where, but some day you’re gonna have to dig for those butt drugs.”

“I think I’ll call the captain in if it comes to that.”

“I’m not sticking my neck out for you if you try that one,” Jeffrey says. “Speaking of necks.” He reaches over and grabs the edge of Hank’s turtleneck.

Hank jerks to his feet and puts some distance between them, but he’s not quick enough. “Oh, ho, ho, I knew there was reason you were dressed like a pretentious douchebag.” Jeffrey taunts him.

Hank tries to play it cool leaning back against the porch railing. “Anyone ever teach you about personal space?”

“Come on. Spill it! You wouldn’t deny a long-married man the opportunity to live vicariously through you. Tell me about her.”

Hank walks behind Jeffrey’s chair and wraps an arm around his chest. “You know no one could ever come between us,” he says leaning down.

Jeffrey elbows Hank in the ribs and both men burst into laughter.

“Seriously though, you have a new flame? I’ve been worried about you man. You put too much into your work. A distraction could do you some good.”

Hank sits back down in his patio chair. “ _Distraction_ doesn’t even begin to cover it.” He picks up his beer. “She’s under my skin, Jeff.”

“That’s when you know it’s good.” Jeffrey shakes his head, “But you sound like something’s bugging you.”

Hank really considers how much he wants to divulge. Jeffrey is his best friend, so he should at least be able to tell him something. “She’s a little young for me. Kinda makes me feel like a creep.”

“How young are we talking?”

“She’s 21.” He leaves out that her birthday was last week.

“Shoot, man. How’d you even meet her?”

“Remember when I filled in that week at DTU? I met her then.” Again, he leaves out the whole arrest and bribery fiasco.

“You are seeing a college girl? Don’t let the guys at the station know. They’ll be busting your balls every day.”

“You – uh… you’ve actually met her.” Hank jogs his memory about the girl a while back whose window was smashed in by her ex-boyfriend.

“Shit, Hank. This isn’t like you,” Jeffrey doesn’t try to hide the disappointment in his voice.

Hank’s stomach sinks. He thinks back to Jeffrey’s bachelor party when Hank had confidently marched all their friends into a strip club and then stood by uncomfortably while they all received lap dances. He hadn’t even had a girlfriend at the time. The incident had earned him a reputation as a bit of a prude. If only they knew what he’s been up to recently.

“I know. In a strange way she makes me feel good about myself. She’s just really into me. I think I’m starting to be really into her too,” it’s more candid than Hank usually is with his friends, but he knows Jeffrey won’t judge him for that at least.

He feels a warm hand clap him on the shoulder. “You deserve to be happy, and if folks are going to judge you for what brings you happiness, then fuck ‘em.”

Hank’s mouth curls into the ghost of a smile. “Yeah, fuck ‘em.” The two men clang their bottles together and enjoy the remainder of their drinks in companionable silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I read a fic a while back where Hank was bad at sex, and it irked me so much because in my head he's a pussy slayer. I think I'm partially writing this story in retaliation.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some rough-ish sex in this chapter. Everyone has a good time.

“They’re huge dorks, there’s no reason to be nervous.” Audrey has his hand in a firm grip leading him down the street.

“I’m not nervous,” Hank lies.

They’ve been doing the casual dating thing for a couple of months now, and Audrey has decided she’d like for Hank to meet some of her friends. They’re walking toward a coffee shop near the edge of DTU’s campus. The sun has already set, and Hank grumbles that he doesn’t understand why anyone would drink coffee this late.

“Do these guys know I’m a cop?” College campuses aren't always the most pro-authority corners of the community. “Do they even know I’m coming?”

“They do know you are coming, and I trust you don’t plan to arrest any of them, so I don’t see why it matters.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

To Hank’s surprise, he really likes the atmosphere of the café itself. The building used to be an old diner that he can remember going to with his dad a couple of times. Many of the original furnishings remain intact.

Audrey leads him over to a booth in the corner where a young man and woman sit on the same side. He wonders if this is a double date or if kids even use that term anymore.

The young man smiles at them when he sees them approach. He looks aggressively trendy with a modern haircut and eyewear. “You actually brought him. I was beginning to think you might have been making him up.”

Audrey gets into the booth first sitting opposite of the other girl, “Guys, this is Hank.” She sounds oddly proud of him. “Hank, this is Ethan and Joan.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Ethan says.

Joan nods her head sizing him up and tosses her hair over her shoulder.

They order their drinks when the waitress comes by and Audrey and Ethan start talking about some new video game. Hank can’t shake the feeling that Joan keeps glaring at him out of the corner of her eye while browsing her phone.

“Audrey tells me you play the piano,” Ethan says turning his attention to Hank. “What’s your style? Classical?”

“Jazz, but I used to play with a rock band when I was in college.”

Joan sets her phone down. “ _You_ went to college.”

“Uh, yeah,” he says defensively. “Well, it was a while ago.”

“Obviously. Interesting career choice then.”

_Oh, here it comes._

“You’re being rude,” Ethan hisses in her direction.

“I think it’s awfully rude of Audrey not to tell us she’s dating a cop.” Audrey looks hurt at the accusation. “I thought you’d at least be better looking. You look like you’d be the bad guy in a shitty action movie.”

Hank has heard worse things about his appearance, so he can let that one roll off. Attacking his profession always feels like a blow below the belt. It’s not surprising she figured it out, even if Audrey hadn’t told her. He’d been all over the news a few weeks ago when he made that big bust.

The harsh clinking of the waitress sitting their drinks down in front of them cuts through the tension. Hank’s ordered black coffee, Audrey’s drinking tea, and the other two are having milky coffee drinks with fancy names.

“He’s not working right now, Joan,” Audrey says defensively.

Something visibly clicks in Joan’s mind. “Oh my god, Audrey. Is he the same cop that David said pulled you out of the bar that night?”

“He didn’t _pull_ me out. He just needed to talk to me about something.”

This was all a huge fucking mistake. At least no one has brought up the night he arrested her.

“Joan, what’s this about?” Ethan asks.

“It’s about not sitting by while your friends make stupid choices.”

Hank slaps a large hand on the table which not only causes the others to jump, it unfortunately draws the attention of several people in the café. “Look, I don’t know what your problem is, but I don’t appreciate having my character attacked by someone I’ve barely said three words to.” He’s trying to speak evenly to avoid making more of a spectacle, but he just has one of those voices that carries. “If we can’t be friendly to one another, I think we should get the fuck out of here.”

“I’ll save you the trouble,” Joan says shoving Ethan so she can get out of the booth. Hank turns his head over his shoulder and watches her stomp out nearly trampling a woman walking through the door.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That night Audrey is draped across the couch in Hank’s apartment. He’s playing a smooth jazz tune on the piano. His fingers felt stiff when he started the song, but his muscle memory quickly returned. Now his hands move like liquid across the keys.

At some point while his eyes are focused on the instrument, Audrey removes her dress. She’s now lounging in her underwear. She has been on her phone texting non-stop since they left the café, awkwardly parting ways with Ethan after what happened.

“Is it too hot in here for you?”

“No, for some reason I thought I would look sophisticated half-naked and listening to jazz. Feels kind of silly now.”

“Don’t ever feel like you need wear clothes on my account,” Hank says turning to straddle the piano bench. “Have you figured anything out… about what that was all about earlier.”

Audrey frowns. “I don’t know for sure, but apparently Joan’s brother is in prison. I think her dad might be too. I had no idea. She doesn’t really talk about her family.”

He grunts affirmatively. “You should probably know that things like that are bound to happen from time to time when you’re with an officer. That was actually pretty tame.”

“Those were the two friends who I thought would be the most open minded… you know, about everything.”

“Hey…” Hank moves over the couch and wraps an arm around her. “He seemed like he was – okay with everything. With us.”

Audrey rolls over to face him. “Yeah, he’s a good friend.”

Hank feels an uncharacteristic wave of jealously sweep over him. “You’ve never… you know. With him?”

Audrey shakes her head, “No, he’s just a friend.”

He feels a tightness in his chest release, “It probably doesn’t make you feel better, but I have way fewer friends for you to try to impress. Really, only one that I give a shit about what he thinks.”

“Why don’t you try to make more friends?”

Hank sighs. “It’s harder when you get older. You work so much, then all the people you know become parents and they don’t have any time for you anymore. It sucks, but that’s just life. You’ll understand someday.”

Audrey gives him a look like she seriously doubts that, but she doesn’t try to contradict him. “What about your one friend? Can I meet him?”

He wants to tell her ‘no,’ but he also doesn’t want her to think that he’s embarrassed of her. “You sort of already have. He was my partner when I was a beat cop. For what it’s worth, I did tell him about us and he… I guess he was as non-judgmental as possible. He doesn’t know about the part where I arrested you though.”

Audrey leans over and lays her head in his lap. “I’m sure I could win him over.”

Hank thinks that’s probably true. She has a way of drawing people in that frankly makes him jealous. It’s a talent that he feels like he used to have back when he was a boisterous frat guy that has since disappeared.

“He’s got a brood of little hell spawn running around everywhere. You like kids?” He asks the question before the full weight of it registers in his mind. Fuck.

Thankfully Audrey doesn’t look into it too much, “I don’t have any strong opinions about them.”

It’s not an answer he was expecting, but alright.

“You know I told those girls I was with that night about us.” She laughs and he can feel her hot breath on his thigh. “They think I’m a basket case.” She rolls over on her back to look up at him. “But fuck ‘em. I know what I want.”

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“Hmmmmm…” she raises her arms above her head and stretches arching her back over Hank’s legs. He grasps her bare side with a generously sized hand. The skin on her midriff is creamy, pale, and soft. Sometimes he worries that his hands feel too abrasive to her.

Abruptly she rolls over onto her stomach. “I think I’ve been a bad girl.”

“Uh, excuse me?” says a baffled Hank.

“Do you think I need to be spanked?”

 _Oh, Right_. He knows it’s not and absurd request, and he’s done it before - but still he’s apprehensive. “Can you let me know how hard you want it?”

“I guess just don’t leave a mark, but if you do it’s on my ass so no big deal.”

“Alright,” he says giving her rump a squeeze. He lifts a flattened palm and gives her sharp slap. It’s loud, but it probably only stings a little. She laughs again, and it makes him question if he’s done something wrong.

“You liked that,” she says. “I felt your cock twitch.”

“You’re laying across my lap in your underwear, that was bound to happen anyway.” He strikes her ass again with a similar momentum, “But, yeah, maybe I do like it, what’s it to ya?” Hank is enjoying himself, but he wonders how far she wants to take this. Causing someone real pain seems like it would be a turnoff for him.

She asks him to take her to bed, so he flips her over and carries her to his bedroom. Her mouth is all over his neck before they make to the bed. He tosses her roughly onto his mattress and pulls his own shirt off. Any embarrassment he felt about his appearance is gone by now. He knows she’s crazy about him. Audrey quickly gets up and launches herself at him, wrapping her legs around his waist. The force nearly knocks him over, but he’s sturdy enough to stay on his feet.

Hank has learned that Audrey sometimes likes sex to feel like a power struggle, even if in reality it isn’t. He enjoys it as well.

She smothers him with a kiss, and Hank falls forward pinning her to the bed. He grasps her hair firmly in his hand making sure not to pull too hard and turns her head so that he can talk directly into her ear. “I’m going to fuck you inside out.”

He feels her chest shake in a silent laugh. “There’s no need to sweet talk me.”

Their sex life has improved drastically since the first time they were together. He now can penetrate her with relatively little discomfort for her. It helps if he makes her come first. Some positions just don’t work for them, but Hank’s fine with that. He’s never been much of a doggy style kind of guy anyway.

Audrey’s hand snakes up his body and wraps around his throat. She doesn’t squeeze hard enough to strangle him. Not even close. It’s just enough to make him feel like she has some semblance of power over him.

On the outside, it’s a ridiculous notion. Hank is twice her size and several times as strong, but in their world, they are equals.

He slides an arm underneath of her and rolls both their bodies over until she’s sitting astride his hips. One hand remains on his neck, the other reaches between her own legs to stroke at the bulge in his jeans. Hank’s already hard for her. He feels the vibration of his zipper being pulled down, and she reaches into the gap in his jeans and grips his girth over his boxers.

It’s a feeling he doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of. Her small delicate hands making his cock feel gigantic as she wrestles it out of his pants. He watches as the pink, leaking head emerge from his fly into the warm air of his bedroom.

She skims her thumb lightly over the underside of his crown. It feels nice, but he aches for a more complete connection. He doesn’t have to wait long as she traps him between their bodies with her crotch and grinds down. Her panties feel rough against his sensitive skin, but he doesn’t mind. Her natural slickness seeps through the fabric, and Hank can see and feel it rubbing against him.

He lets his head fall back onto his sheets and allows his eyes to roll back into his skull as she rubs herself into him. Deep groans escape from his throat, and he’s sure if his neighbors are home, they can hear him through the thin apartment walls. Hank never used to let himself be loud - not like this. Some idiot voice in his head always told him to try his best to be quiet – that men shouldn’t make noise during sex. Audrey had shut that down almost immediately. “I want to hear everything I’m doing to you,” she had told him. It had taken a few sessions for him to get comfortable with the idea, but once he saw how much it turned her on, he just let himself go.

When he opens his eyes again, Hank realizes Audrey has removed her bra. Her hands grasp the muscles of his arms kneading her fingers into his flesh, then she moves to caress his chest and stomach. Her palms glide over the flushed skin and hair. She looks like she wants to devour him. Hank would be lying if he said it doesn’t make his ego swell a bit.

 _Time to take over_.

Gripping her waist, Hank flips the pair of them over again. She fights him this time trying to stay on top, but he can tell it’s just for show. He uses one hand to pin her carefully to the bed by her shoulder, the other clutches the side of her soaked-through underwear. His cock freely bobs between them and a strand of precome drips down and lands on her stomach. Hank jerks roughly down on her underwear to remove them, but the delicate material gives out with an audible rip down the side. “Shit!” Hank exclaims forgetting their roleplay for a moment, “I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s fine don’t worry about it, really.” She sits up to remove her remaining undergarments.

“Are you going to be okay… going commando on the way home?”

“Hank, I have other things on my mind right now.”

“Right,” he says reaching between her legs. “We can worry about it later.”

His index finger runs along her slit, and she shivers when he grazes her clit. He pops his own finger into his mouth to taste her and then takes a moment to remove his pants and underwear. Suddenly her hand flies up and captures his shaft in a vicelike grip. Oh, he likes that.

“You just going to tease me like that?” she asks.

Hank hooks his hands underneath her back of her knees and pulls her legs up forcing her to release his cock. “I’ll tease you however I want.”

He sinks his first two fingers inside her; her slick warmth enveloping the digits. Audrey hums appreciatively as he presses up into her sweet spot while his thumb rubs her on the outside. This is a favorite of hers. A leg stretches up to rest on his shoulder.

Her eyes are closed and her dark hair halos around her head. “You look beautiful like this,” Hank says without breaking his rhythm.

“Mmmmm, I could look at you all day.”

He smirks, “Looking at this face would get old real quick.”

“What are you talking about, you’ve got a great face.” Audrey opens her eyes to look at him. “I’d love to sit on it.”

“Now that sounds like an idea.”

She sits up to grab him about the waist and wrestle him down on the bed. Hank lets it happen, flopping down onto the mattress.

He’s flat on his back again, and Audrey makes a show of crawling up his body giving his dick a stroke with her palm on her way. She finally stops with her knees on his shoulders and lowers her pussy onto his face. He wastes no time latching on with his mouth slurping up her folds.

Audrey moans and hunches over. She always has a hard time holding herself upright when he’s making her squirm. Hank doesn’t blame her really. He’s being pretty relentless sucking and lathing at her sensitive bits with his tongue.

“Oh, fuck me,” Audrey swears under her breath.

“In a minute, I’m busy right now,” he murmurs as best he can given the circumstances.

She reaches down and yanks at a handful of hair on his scalp. “Don’t talk with your mouth full, Hank,”

 _Fine by me_ , he thinks while thrusting the tip of his tongue into her little bundle of nerves.

It’s not long before she throws her head back yelling at the ceiling, and yeah, his neighbors definitely heard that. Oh well.

Audrey falls over onto the sheets, and Hank gives her a moment to recover. His neglected cock is aching, and he’s ready to bury it inside her. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and sits up to dig through his bedside drawer. He’s started keeping condoms and lube in there, but he decides that lube probably isn’t necessary this time.

When he turns his attention back to her, Audrey’s laying on her back with her knees spread apart.

“You want to go missionary? Little basic, isn’t it?”

“It feels good to me like this.”

Hank moves between her legs and gets ready to tear open the condom with his teeth.

“You can go bareback if you want.”

The words freeze him there with the foil still in his teeth. They had both done their due diligence with getting tested, and she had told Hank previously that she has some sort of birth control thing inside her. None of that is what has his heart pounding in his chest.

“Ummm…” he says nervously.

Audrey props herself up on her elbows. “You – you don’t have to. Just… if you want to, it’s fine.”

“I’ve not… I’ve just always.” Hank isn’t sure how to say this. _Hey, you ready to pop my rawdog cherry._

“It’s alright, just go ahead and put it on,” she says softly.

Hank flips the packet over in his hand weighing the pros and cons, and not coming up with much on the negative side. First time for everything, right?

“You know what, I’m feeling adventurous,” he says tossing the condom over his shoulder.

It’s a whole different ball game this time when he pushes inside her; like every nerve ending in his cock is suddenly alive. She’s overly slick from her orgasm and his saliva. It’s a massive relief for him that she doesn’t even wince this time.

He pounds into her slow at firsts. His momentum picks up when she grabs his throat again. _Right, you’re the boss._

He can tell be the noises she makes and the way her thighs grip against his sides that he’s hitting all the right places. It’s great she’s enjoying herself now, because Hank can already tell this isn’t going to be an extended session for him.

His thrusts are so hard by the end that he’s worried his bed frame is damaging the bedroom wall. He’s so close and is nearly ready to pull out when Audrey’s other hand grabs the back of his head and pulls him close. “Come inside me,” her words come out as a desperate whisper in his ear.

Hank’s body obviously doesn’t want to disappoint her because he explodes immediately, spilling himself into her body. He’s aware that words are spewing out of his mouth, but he can’t get a grasp on what they mean.

When he’s finished his arms give out sending his torso crashing down. It has to be the hardest he’s ever came in his life. He can hear his pulse hammering in his ears.

It takes a minute before he can feel Audrey’s hand smacking against his side. Her head is squished between his shoulder and the bed. He’s crushing her with his full weight.

“Oh fuck, sorry babe,” he says rolling over beside her. “Are you okay.”

She lays silently beside him, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

“Audrey, I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Her chest rises with a deep breath, “You just said you love me.”

“That… didn’t happen.” He knows the words sound stupid, but truthfully, he can’t remember what he said.

“It did.” She stares blankly ahead. “I can forget about it if you’d like.”

Hank swallows hard. He doesn’t know what to say. She seems to understand that it was a slip of the tongue in the heat of the moment. Hank is trying to make himself understand the same thing. “If that’s what you want to do then, sure.”

Audrey climbs out of bed and starts getting dressed. Most of her clothes are still in the living room. She leaves the room to retrieve them and shuts the door behind her.

Hank sits on the edge of the bed with his hands covering his face. He worries this is going to make things awkward for a while. They’ve only been “dating” for a few months now, and he goes and lays that on the table. There was a girl he dated for a couple of years after he finished college who he had said “I love you” to. She cheated on him once she realized a cop would never be able to finance the kind of lifestyle she wanted. Hank still has self-esteem issues from it. After that, he never let himself get close enough to get hurt like that again.

Audrey comes back into the room and says she’s going to take the bus home. Hank nods in agreement at first, but then calls out to her as she turns to leave. “Hey, um can I tell you something?”

“I’m right here, Hank.”

“I – look, I know that was stupid of me to say something like that… the way I said it.” He’s suddenly acutely aware that she’s standing there fully dressed, and he’s still sitting stark-naked on his bed. “But that doesn’t mean that it won’t ever be true… If we have enough time?”

She walks over and sits next to him, “Do you think we’ll have time?”

“I can’t see why not,” Hank says.

“I always imaged you have an expiration date in your mind for when you’re going to end this. This is going to get old eventually, and you’ll want to be with someone more…” Her eyes move back and forth as if she’s scanning through a dictionary for the right words. “More grown up.”

He places a hand on her back, “Hey, as far as I can tell, you spend your whole life trying to grow up, but you always feel like you’re never quite there.” Hank still feels like a kid half the time at work, especially since his promotion. “And I haven’t made any plans to break this off. Hell, it was just beginning to feel sort of normal – and I mean that in a good way.”

Audrey allows herself a small smile, and Hank finds it makes him smile as well. “I was hoping it would be a while before the novelty wore off. This has been exciting.”

“I think normal is even better than exciting sometimes. Like when you watch your favorite movie over and over again, even though you know it from beginning to end. It just makes you feel good see it again.”

“I didn’t know you could be so introspective, Hank.”

He gives her a playful shove, “Let me drive you home.”

Audrey places a palm against the outside of his bare thigh and squeezes, “I think you should put some clothes on first.”

“I’ll think about it.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hank’s keys land on an end table with a clatter as he walks back into his apartment. There’s only two months left on his lease at this place, and now that he’s a detective, he can afford something a little nicer. _It’s about damn time for a change of scenery_ , he thinks squinting up at a water damage spot on his ceiling.

As he’s walking past his bathroom door, something on the mirror catches his eye. Another note from Audrey. It’s been a while since the last one.

Hank walks over, peels the paper off the glass and reads: _“Learning to care for you is exhilarating.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've been wrestling with this chapter for weeks now. It's still not exactly where I want it to be, but I'm putting it out there anyway. I'm determined to finish this story, and I need to move on.
> 
> Note: The next chapter is going to look a little different than anything else in the story so far.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this chapter is formatted differently than any other chapter in the story will be. It's basically little snapshots of time to catch us up to where we need to be.
> 
> Warnings:  
> Some violent things happens in this chapter. All of them are police-work related.  
> Canon character death. You can probably figure this one out.  
> There's a domestic situation - not violent, but this marriage didn't break apart for no reason.  
> Canon-typical suicide attempts.

The next time Hank tells Audrey he loves her, it’s as easy as breathing.

It’s right after her college graduation. He’s spent the whole ceremony being overly conscious of the fact that Audrey’s parents are sitting a few rows ahead of him. She hasn’t told them about their relationship yet. Hank’s feelings aren’t hurt. It’s a tricky situation.

After she walks across the stage, she’s so giddy that she runs straight to Hank and jumps into his arms. He presses his cheek into hers and tells her that he loves her and that he’s proud of her.

Her family doesn’t hear his words, but they definitely see their public display of affection. Her parents are in their early 40s, and it’s a prickly conversation. They obviously aren’t happy with their daughter’s choices, but things don’t get too heated. Maybe because they realize this isn’t the time or the place.

Hank takes her home that night and fucks her extra hard out of spite.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Audrey is all set to go to grad school when plans are brought to a screeching halt. A major auto manufacturer is so impressed with the work she did at her internship, they offer her a job – and they want her to star immediately. She turns it down, but then they come back with a ridiculous salary offer. Hank tells her she’d be crazy not to take it.

She starts her first real job bringing home more than twice what he makes after more than a decade on the force. He knows a lot of men would be intimidated, but he’s just impressed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hank takes Audrey to the DPD Christmas party that year. He’s not sure if his coworkers are whispering about them or if he’s paranoid. Probably a little of both.

They take a seat at a table with Jeffrey and Maya. It’s awkward at first, but Audrey was right, she wins them both over. Maybe it’s the free-flowing booze, or maybe it’s the Christmas cheer in the air, but by the end of the night the four of them are laughing and telling stories without a care in the world.

Hank excuses himself from the table to grab a fresh drink. One of his fellow detectives grabs him by the elbow at the punch bowl and asks him if he’s going to take his girlfriend to the prom. Hank punches the guy in the gut and decides that’s enough party for one night.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Audrey gets a huge Christmas bonus that year on top of her salary. Apparently, she’s been essential in an upcoming launch of a commercially available line of self-driving cars. She uses the extra cash to make a down payment on a three-bedroom house.

She asks Hank to move in with her, and he agrees. It’s the nicest living situation he’s had since he moved out of his parents’ house. He’s surprised at how easy it is to adapt to life living together. They both put in a lot of hours at work, and spending time with each other is much more convenient.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The first time Hank sees an android – he feels like his eyes are lying to him. Someone at the station calls him over to watch a video on their computer. It’s a news segment. The screen shows a pretty blond girl and some greasy-looking kid sitting across from the news anchor. They’re talking about how an android passed the “Turing test,” whatever the fuck that means. The anchor chats with both the kid and the girl for a while and seems totally blown away. Hank doesn’t get it. Where is the android? Someone has to spell it out for him that the blond girl _is_ the android.

 _Bullshit_ , he thinks to himself.

But coverage continues for days on the newly designed android. It’s unavoidable. He sees a clip on a talk show of the greasy kid (God, he has to be younger than Audrey) opening up a panel on the android’s back, and showing blue fluid running through its body like blood. It gives him the creeps.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hank is 40 years old when they get married. Audrey is 27. Her parents aren’t happy about it, and they don’t show up for the wedding. Audrey says she doesn’t mind, but he knows that isn’t true. They have a small ceremony in a public park. Jeffrey is Hank’s best man. It’s all very nice.

Audrey gets a call and has to leave their reception early because of an emergency situation at work. Hank wants to know what could possibly be more important than her own damn wedding night. She leaves anyway taking time to say goodbye to everyone on her way out.

Hank is left sitting alone at the center of the table surrounded by the people who care about them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hank’s bitch of a work partner retires, and a rookie detective is promoted into her place. The way the kid looks up to him gives him a sense of satisfaction.

On their way to their first case, Hank asks the rookie about his previous partner when he was working the streets. Hank is floored to learn the guy had spent the past couple of months partnered with an android. “They need a human there to supervise them, but they’re stronger and faster than us. Makes filing paperwork a breeze too.”

Hank storms into his captain’s office that evening demanding to know why androids are taking jobs that could be filled by humans.

“Relax, they write parking tickets and save us cash on our payroll. It’s not like they’re coming after your job, Hank.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A new drug hits the streets of Detroit, and it has citizens on edge. It’s described to Hank as “super cocaine.” Its key component is the blue gunk running through the tubes inside androids. On the street, they call it red ice.

The captain of the Narcotics division creates a special task force to handle it, and he puts Hank in charge. He doesn’t regret it either.

Hank is down to earth and easy to talk to. Most importantly, he’s honest. Unlike a lot of other cops, he’s able to make friends in rough neighborhoods. He uses his connections to get info that leads to an unprecedented number of busts. Their task force makes national headlines.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hank and Audrey are heading to a birthday party for Jeffrey’s twins. They stop by the toy store on the way to buy gifts. Both of them have been too busy with work to think of picking something up ahead of time. Hank picks out a pair of nerf guns. “Hey maybe the boy and his kid brother can have a good time with these. What do you think we should get for the girl?”

Audrey shakes her head at him in disappointment and picks up a third nerf gun.

After the party Hank and Jeffery dick around in the backyard firing the soft foam darts at each other. Maya and the kids laugh at them from the back porch until Jeffery throws his back out trying to do a duck and roll between two trees. Hank tries to call Audrey down from the porch to play with him instead. She protests as he tries to drag her down, and Hank laughs as he picks her up and throws her over his shoulder.

“Hank – Hank! Put me down. Right fucking now, Hank. I’m serious!” She smacks him hard on the back. It doesn’t really hurt him, but he doesn’t appreciate it either.

“The hell is your problem?” he says plopping her onto her feet.

“You can’t just manhandle me like that!” then her voice grows soft “I’m pregnant.”

Hank is initially shocked. They hadn’t been trying or anything, but well, they had a lot of sex.

Once the feeling of disbelief fades, it’s replaced elation that slowly spreads through his body. He’s going to be a _dad._ Before he knows what’s happening Hank is hooping and jumping up and down fist pumping in the air like the Lions made the Superbowl.

Audrey is standing there in the grass staring at him with wide eyes. “Hank, I’m terrified.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Audrey hates being pregnant. She hates how sick she feels, not just in the morning but at all hours of the day and night. She hates the changes that are happening to her body. She hates the massive amount of work she feels she needs to take on to make up for everything she’s going to miss while she’s on maternity leave.

Hank knows he must seem unsympathetic at times, but he’s just so damn happy. They’re having a son! He gets excited about things he thinks dads don’t normally get excited about: picking out a crib, what color to paint the nursery, tiny little baby shoes. He even goes a little overboard one day and buys a catcher’s mitt. “We’ll get to use it one day. I still have the first glove my dad gave me.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The promotion feels like it comes out of the blue – just a month before their baby is due. Hank is awarded the rank of lieutenant – the youngest in the department’s history.

He should be ecstatic, but truthfully, he feels like an imposter. Hank had grown up on the streets of Detroit, and in his head, that’s where he belonged. He still had dreams where he would wake up and have to go back to his old beat before he became a detective.

The thing that fucks with him the most is that no one else seems surprised by this. They slap him on the back and look at him with eyes full of admiration and tell him this was a long time coming.

What if he lets them all down?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hank is pulling a late shift the night Cole is born. He has a man in the interrogation booth who he is certain is the second in command to a red ice kingpin. Questioning goes on for hours. He forgets that he left his phone sitting on his desk.

By the time he bursts through doors of the maternity ward waiting room, two of Audrey’s friends are already there. One of them gives him the stinkeye, “Where the fuck have you been?”

A nurse walks into the room looking much less bitter, “You must be dad. Don’t ask how I know; you just have that look on your face. The doctors are still working on your wife, but your little boy is doing great. Do you want to see him?”

It’s all Hank can do to nod back at her slack jawed. She leads hank into a small nursery and points to a tiny doll of a thing squirming on a bed. “That’s him, Baby Boy Anderson, and he is perfect! Would you like to hold him?”

Hank’s voice is lost somewhere in the back of his throat. “Yea… Yeah – has Audrey held him yet?”

“Mister Anderson, your wife is still being taken care of after her surgery. She won’t be able to hold him until the anesthesia wears off.”

His brain feels fried, and the nurse’s words don’t quite register “Uh, surgery?”

“She had some complications during labor. They had to perform a C-Section. She lost a little too much blood, but don’t worry she has a common blood type. They were able to get a transfusion in her right away.” The nurse guides him over to a chair as she talks.

Nothing feels real. It’s like Hank is outside his own body. “She… she’s okay?”

“She had stabilized when I left the operating room,” the nurse says lifting the helpless, wrinkly bundle up from a small bed. “Hold your arms like this,” she instructs him.

Hank tries to mimic the motion and the next thing he knows a baby is being placed against his chest. It’s feels like a fragile precious thing that he shouldn’t be trusted to keep safe.

“What are you guys going to name him?”

The baby opens its eyes and looks ahead with blurry vision. “Cole. We decided to call him Cole.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Motherhood doesn’t come naturally to Audrey.

Hank ends up taking his full paternity leave while Audrey recovers. He feels guilty about how difficult the surgery was on her small body and for not being there when she went into labor. She seems angry all the time and goes back to work as soon as she’s able.

Audrey hires a full-time nanny to look after Cole when Hank has to return to the station. She can afford it. Hank received a raise when he was promoted, but it’s a drop in the bucket compared to what Audrey brings home.

For a while, she grows distant from Hank. He worries that she’s harboring resentment about him getting to the hospital late. Mostly though, she is absorbed in her work. She gets another salary increase, and Hank finds a for sale sign in front of their house when he gets home one day.

She tells him she bought a larger home in a better neighborhood.

“You can’t just do shit like that without talking to me about it!” Hank fumes.

She looks at him as calm as can be. “This is my house. It’s in my name. I paid for it. I can sell it if I want to.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The new house is so fantastic in every way imaginable that Hank doesn’t have it in him to hold a grudge. It’s in the kind of neighborhood that he used to ride his bike to on Halloween to trick or treat for the good candy. Their next-door neighbor is a congressman.

The pair of them attend fancy block parties with Detroit’s influential movers and shakers. People _recognize_ him there. Not that they know him by name. They shake his hand and say, “Aren’t you that bright young lieutenant cleaning up the riff raff on our streets?”

At one party while searching for the bathroom, he opens the wrong door and walks into a room occupied by a handful of powerful people smoking red ice. Hank apologizes and backs out the door. He feels like shit about it later.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

One night a standoff goes wrong and Hank gets shot.

He had gone down to help out a swat team with a bust he had ordered. One of the perps fires a shot from inside a dilapidated building, then three hours later officers are still trying to negotiate with the suspects.

They grow complacent in the quiet atmosphere around the target and begin to wonder around the police vehicles. Then a hail of gunfire erupts from every window of the building. They had seriously, unforgivably underestimated how many people were in inside.

The first shot hits Hank on the outside of his upper thigh. At the moment it doesn’t even register. The second round hits his bullet-proof vest and knocks him off his feet. He’s laid flat on his back behind a cruiser – shielded from the rest of the bullets. He starts to get up and sees an officer standing in front him get shot in the face. The guy’s brains splatter across a windshield. It’s the cop who had drunkenly confronted Audrey that night in the bar all those years ago.

_“How many drinks would you need before getting into the sack with my buddy would seem like a good idea.”_

It’s the only fatality, but five other officers are shot – including Hank. From the bust _he_ ordered.

Hank has outpatient surgery on his leg and is back on the force in a few weeks. The botched mission is a weight he’ll have to carry with him for the rest of his life.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Cole is toddling around beginning to form short sentences. Hank loves being a dad, and he’s good at it. At least he is when he’s home. Work keeps him away a lot. It keeps Audrey away too. Or maybe she uses it to escape.

When she’s alone with Cole, she seems totally lost. She tries to ask him what he wants and gets frustrated when he can’t articulate his needs. The boy’s shrieks and playful yells grate on her nerves.

Having a toddler in your mid-forties is exhausting, but often Hank finds himself thinking about how he’d like to have another kid before he gets any older. Audrey shuts down the idea immediately when he tries to broach the subject with her. Her last pregnancy caused her to miss several days of work. She tells him that she doesn’t want to fall behind in her career.

Hank wants to tell her that he’s fine with it if she takes a break from her job, that he’ll bring home the bacon for their family. But the truth is, no matter how hard he busts his ass, no matter how much his colleagues respect him, no matter how much clout comes with his rank – he still doesn’t make shit compared to her.

And her career _is_ booming now more than ever. Everyone and their mother are trading in their old manual steering vehicles (that’s what people are calling regular-ass cars these days) for self-driving cars. Hell, even Hank buys one to be able to catch a nap on the way to work.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Their captain retires, and Jeffrey is promoted to the position, even though Hank is the next highest-ranking officer. He’s too happy for his friend to be upset for long.

Jeffrey claps him on the shoulder and tells him what an honor it is to have him as a lieutenant. Hank says he’s proud to have Jeffrey as his captain.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Cole gets older, and things get easier.

He’s a bright kid, but quiet. Hank thinks he must take after Audrey. Hank’s own mom tells him that he was like a bull in a china shop when he was that age. Even though he still has his baby teeth, Cole has the same gap between his front teeth that Hank has always had.

Audrey teaches Cole to play video games, and the two of them have fun for hours. Hank tries to play with him too, but his five-year-old absolutely decimates him. All he can do is laugh.

Their marriage is better than it has been in years. Having a kid really threw a monkey wrench in their gears for a while, but they came out on the other side happy and stable. They both still work a lot and have to rely on a nanny for some of Cole’s care, but they also make time for each other. They go out on dates, do the grocery shopping together, and sit down and watch movies as a family. It’s a good life.

Audrey still leaves him notes from time to time. Usually she sticks them on mirrors or the front door. Sometimes she leaves them in the pockets of his jacket.

That’s where he finds one the day he takes Cole to an appointment at the eye doctor.

_I hope he wants to be like you when he grows up._

Hank smiles and puts the note back where he found it. He buckles Cole into his booster seat, and they head out.

Hours later – his whole world is shattered apart.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Two weeks after the funeral, they’ve barely said a word to each other. It’s like they are living in a dream where their son is away at a friend’s house and they’re at home waiting for him to come back. They go back to their jobs and half-ass their work with glazed over eyes. No one says anything. What _could_ they say?

It all falls apart one night when Audrey picks up a shopping bag, and a tiny toy car rolls out of it. She falls to her knees and cradles it in her hands. A wail of sadness like Hank has never heard in his life rips out of her chest. She collapses on the floor and sobs with abandon pounding her fists on the floor. Hank doesn’t know how to react. He thinks maybe a person in his position should lie down next to her and cry too.

But Hank doesn’t even feel like a person right now, so he leaves to find some shitty bar to black out in.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Liquor doesn’t make him hurt less. Not really. It does make him forget sometimes though – about who he is, what happened to him. He starts carrying a flask around with him. He knows people must be able to smell it on him, but he doesn’t give a single fuck. He can hear them whisper though - the other officers. About how he’s lost it. How he should take a break from the force.

Jeffrey tries to stage an intervention. He shows up at Hank’s house one day with a couple of professionals. Hank punches him in face and breaks his nose. After that things aren’t the same between the two of them.

It all comes to head one night when he notices the door to Cole’s bedroom is open. It’s been shut since the day he died. He pokes his head in and sees Audrey placing things into cardboard boxes. She picks up each item and runs her fingers over every facet before packing it away.

Hank screams at her in a voice he barely recognizes as his own. He asks how she could just fucking box their son’s life up to store it away like he never existed. Like he never _mattered._ His bellows are so loud they hurt his own ears, but he can’t control himself. She tries to tell him to calm down, that he’s been drinking and his head isn’t on straight.

Hank tells her to go to hell. That maybe of they hadn’t been riding in one of her flimsy self-driving cars, Cole still might be here. That technology is all bullshit and he wants to rip apart the fucking android that couldn’t manage a simple operation, He sounds manic, and he’s slowly stepping closer to Audrey who just keeps saying his name over and over again.

“ **Hank**!” she finally yells as loud as she can manage. It brings him to abrupt halt. Her voice becomes soft and timid, “Hank, you’re scaring me.”

He shakes his head breathing in deep. The room slowly comes back into focus. Audrey is sitting on the floor backed against Cole’s bed, her eyes wide with fright.

Hank holds out an open palm to her. “No, baby, no,” is all he can manage to say.

Audrey bolts to her feet and pushes past him to the door. She looks back at him with tears filling her eyes then runs down the hall. And then he doesn’t see her again.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

An attorney knocks on his door the next week to hand him divorce papers. Hank hadn’t realized things were at this point. Maybe he should have known, but he just hasn’t been in his right mind or sober enough to see it.

Each day more and more of Audrey’s things disappear from the house while he’s out. Removing herself from his life piece by piece. Leaving him alone in their big empty house haunted by the memory of his dead son.

He calls her and calls her and calls her. He leaves her sloppy, embarrassing voicemails. He stumbles up to her friend’s houses asking if they can get a message to her that he wants to talk. No one will cooperate with him.

Hank knows. He _knows_ down to the fiber of his very being that he would never have laid a hand on her. But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because she thought it might happen. And that was enough. And Hank doesn’t blame her.

He signs the papers.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The divorce is fair. Audrey takes their savings and Hank gets the house.

Hank drives out to Lake Erie and tosses his wedding ring into the water. He nearly catches hypothermia when he spends 30 minutes dredging through the shallows trying to find it again. It’s no use.

Hank sells their hoity toity house in their stuck-up neighborhood and moves into a small one-bedroom place by the water. He has plenty of cash left over to buy a boat. He tells himself he’s going to go fishing in his spare time like he used to with his grandfather. He goes to the storage unit he’s had for years and pulls his dad’s ancient Oldsmobile out because fuck if he’s ever letting a computer drive him around anymore.

Now that Audrey is out of the picture, he feels the last thread attaching himself to normality is broken.

Hank drags himself into work hours after he’s supposed to be there. He gets reprimanded repeatedly. At some point Jeffrey moves to homicide and asks that Hank be transferred with him. Hank can’t figure out why. The two of them have been at odds since Hank hit him. There’s no way the newly commissioned officers who see them in heated arguments now would ever believe how close they once were. At the end of the day, maybe Jeffrey wants to keep an eye on Hank for old times sake.

Fuck it, Hank changes departments. Not like he plans on living much longer anyway. Every stupid thing reminds him of Cole. Reminds him of the family that was ripped away from him. He adopts a dog to try to fight off the loneliness. Turns out finding something new to care about can’t fix an aching hole in your life.

One night he gets back to the station after a rough case. A father strangled his 11-year-old daughter to death, dismembered her body, and threw it in the river in trash bags. When they got the guy in the interrogation booth, he said he caught “the little slut” kissing a boy outside her school.

Hank sits at his desk staring ahead at his screen until everyone else leaves the bullpen. The android officers’ blank gazes from their charging stations creep him the hell out, so he gets up and walks down the stairs that lead to the evidence room. Alone in the dark, he pulls his gun out of the holster and removes all the bullets save for one. His thumb gives the chamber a good spin. The barrel feels cool against his temple as he puts his finger on the trigger and pulls. The click echoes through the empty stairway. He guesses that luck just isn’t on his side today.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hank drinks and gambles away the rest of the cash he has left over from selling the house. He drinks himself into stupors and wakes up in puddles in the park like a vagrant. He plays Russian Roulette again. He wins – or loses depending on how you look at.

The detectives in homicide are frustrated with him. They didn’t know him from before - when he was a good officer, a good man.

People describe him as grouchy, surly, grimy. That last one makes him acknowledge that his personal hygiene has fallen off the wagon. It’s been months since his last haircut. His own reflection looks like a stranger. He doesn’t care enough to do anything about it.

Hank’s too unstable to have a routine, but there’s a block of town with several bars in a row he frequents. All the bartenders know him. He knows the look of pity in their eyes when they see him walk through the door for the fourth time that week.

It’s okay, though. So long as they keep serving up the burning liquid that clouds his mind, it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about him.

He keeps his head down at the bar, not wanting any of the good working-class folk who are just there blow off some steam to rope him into a conversation. The game is on though, and Jimmy’s pouring the drinks strong tonight.

All in all, he’s thinking there’s been worse times. Then he’s interrupted by what has to be the dumbest, dipshit voice he’s ever heard in his life saying his name.

“Lieutenant Anderson. My name is Connor. I’m the android sent by Cyberlife.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man this chapter was draining to write. It's back to the future next with a not-so-heavy installment.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back in the timeline from chapter 1 for this chapter.

The neon sign of the club reflects its purple and green light over the wet asphalt of the parking lot. Each letter illuminates in turn spelling out the name of the venue. L-I-T. A few years ago, it was a seedy place where Hank had done a few drug busts. Gentrification and new ownership has transformed it into a hot spot for the single Gen Z crowd.

Hank opens the front door to Imagine Dragons pounding through the sound system. He thinks his eardrums might actually catch on fire from the friction of shitty music.

He sucks it up though, because this is where Connor said she’d be, and damn if he wasn’t right. Audrey is with a group of early-40’s women dancing in a semi-circle. Hank recognizes some of them as her friends. One of them wears a sash like beauty pageant winner that’s labeled “Bride.” He remembers attending the same woman’s first wedding years ago.

Connor was right two for two – she’s here for a bachelorette party.

Hank watches the group dance for a while feeling more than a little voyeuristic. Maybe it’s just him, but Audrey stands out. He doesn’t understand why every eye in the club isn’t on her. Not that she isn’t getting any attention. A few guys come up to her and start to do that dumb sort of grind dancing that looks stupid for anyone old enough to be out of college. She dances with them for a bit then pushes them away to get back to her group. Hank likes to think that she knows she’s too good for them, but she probably just doesn’t want to ignore her friends.

It’s dark, and there are spotlights flying around everywhere making him dizzy, so Hank decides to take a seat at the bar at the edge of room. The bartender flashes him a dirty look when he asks for a glass of water but pours him one anyway. Hank’s put on his favorite streaky shirt and pulled his hair back into a ponytail because damn, it’s long enough now.

Around 15 minutes later Audrey takes a seat in the middle of the bar. She doesn’t notice him. Why would she? Hank watches as she signals the bartender and he brings her a glass of water – no mean looks for her.

She looks tired from dancing. He motions the bartender over and gets ignored at first, but Hank is persistent.

A few moments later, a red stripe is set in front of Audrey. She picks it up, turning the bottle around in her hand to look at the label with a smile on her face. Her eyes scan the room and notice Hank.

Hank lifts his own glass of water and nods in her direction. Her head quickly turns away eyes locked on her drink. She pauses, and Hank thinks she’s going to walk away. Instead she stands, swiftly chugs half her beer, then starts moving toward him.

Hank holds his breath. The bar stool to the left of him scrapes against the concrete floor and he feels the presence of her body next to his. “A bar probably isn’t the best place for you to be given your circumstances.” Her southern accent is entirely gone now. When had that happened?

“I didn’t come here to drink,” he replies.

She lifts the bottle he ordered for her, “You know, it must have been a decade since I had one of these.”

“Seeing you out on the dance floor like that, it reminded me of how wild you used to be,” Hank looks up and notices the entire backsplash behind the bar is one giant mirror. He sees the reflection of two of them sitting side by side. God, their age difference has never been more apparent than it is right now. Audrey has been taking care of herself. Hank has been a dumpster fire.

“Couldn’t be tamed forever,” she says taking another swig of beer.

Hank doesn’t know what to say to her now, and it infuriates him. He spent well over a decade with this woman, and now they’re practically strangers.

Audrey breaks the silence, “I met your partner.”

“Yeah, I heard,” Hank huffs. “He’s a little shit.”

“I like him.” She swivels in her seat to face him. “So, how did he manage to win you over?”

Hank chuckles, “Now there’s a story.” He looks over into her soft eyes. There are lines there where there weren’t before, but he thinks she’s still gorgeous. She’s wearing some sort of black satin dress that clings to all the curves that used to drive him crazy.

Unfortunately, his view is abruptly blocked by some douchebag’s back. One of the men Audrey was dancing with earlier is leaning his hip against the bar between them.

“Is this old guy bothering you?” he asks Audrey.

Shit, that had to be what it looked like, right? Hank thinks about sneaking out of the building right then and there never to be heard from again.

“Fuck off, you’re being rude.” she tells the man.

“Come on sugar, let’s get you away from here,” He’s halfway drunk. “This guy probably couldn’t get it up for you anyway.” He slides an arm around Audrey’s waist and tries to pull her up.

Hank stands so abruptly he nearly tips his chair over. He puts a heavy hand on the man’s shoulder and spins him around, “Hey! Did you miss the part where she told you to fuck off?” Hank has several inches of height on him, and he sure as hell knows how to be intimidating when he wants to. Right now, he’s glaring daggers down at this imbecile.

The man pulls Hank’s arm off him and starts to walk away, “Sorry, bitch,” he says to Audrey. “You’re not worth this.”

Hank has half a mind to drag the guy’s ass outside and grind his face into the pavement with everyone watching. But that isn’t why he’s here, and that definitely wouldn’t show Audrey that he’s changed.

“Sit down, Hank. It’s fine.”

She looks worried and Hank wants to cup the side of her face and run his fingers through her hair. He can’t do that, though. She isn’t his anymore – and he’s not hers.

“Prick shouldn’t have tried to grab you like that,” he grumbles.

“I can handle myself.”

Hank knows that is true some extent, but she is still a tiny woman and if some lunkhead tries to force her to do something there isn’t much she can do about it.

“Tell me about him,” Audrey says changing the subject. “About Connor.” She’s trying to distract him. It’s something that she always used to do when he was angry. It usually worked.

“He’s a pain in my ass. Damn good detective, though,” Hank sips his water. “Oh, and he helped Markus out with his demonstration… thing.” He adds as an afterthought.

“Markus?!” Audrey exclaims. There’s a name that _everyone_ is familiar with.

“Yeah, it’s a long story. I’ll tell you about it sometime if you want,” Hank says.

She starts to respond, but she’s cut off by a loud vibrating from inside her handbag. She pulls out her phone and frowns, “Shit!”

Audrey’s head swivels to the club’s front door where the woman in the “Bride” sash is being dragged out the door by three of Audrey’s other friends. She sighs, “Looks like this party is over.”

“Do you need to go, uh, make sure everything’s alright?” Hank asks.

“I don’t think so. She’s just had too much to drink, and she was doing stupid stuff. They’re taking her home to sober up.”

“I thought doing stupid shit was the whole point of bachelorette parties,” Hank says.

“Yeah, but she’s smashed and grinding on strangers and telling guys she wants to go home with them and –“

“Trying to bribe police officers with sex?” Hank cuts her off.

An expression falls across her face that Hank can’t decipher, but then she throws her head back and laughs. He’s missed that sound. “No, I’m the only one dumb enough to have tried something like that,” she says once she’s composed herself.

“Well, you got what you wanted eventually, so maybe it wasn’t so dumb.”

Audrey smiles up at him with a mischievous look in her eyes. For a split second it makes Hank feel like nothing bad ever happened between them.

“Do you want to go for a drive?” he asks.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It’s still raining out and Hank holds his jacket over Audrey’s head as they walk through the parking lot. She recognizes his car immediately, “That old thing seriously runs?”

“It’s old, but it’s sturdy. Kinda like me,” Hank says.

He drapes his jacket over her shoulders before they get inside. Hank revs the engine peeling out into the night. He used to be such a careful driver, but a few years of self-destructive behaviors have changed that. He goes too fast and skids around corners for the hell of it. Tires sliding on the slick streets. Knights of the Black Death blasts through the speakers.

Audrey holds on to the handle on the roof of the car and shrieks with laughter. She’s always been one to appreciate a little reckless behavior. Hank dials it back, worried it might make her start to think about the crash… and Cole.

He grabs the volume knob and turns it down to a conversational level. “How’s it feel being back in the Motor City?” he asks.

Audrey leans her seat back and stretches her legs, “It’s good. I’ve missed my friends.” She seems relaxed, and it makes Hank feel relaxed as well. He was worried she would be uncomfortable around him. Maybe even scared of him.

“A lot’s happened since you’ve been gone.”

“I saw on the news. How long did it take before things started to feel normal again?” She asks.

“Most folks were back in town after… I dunno, three or four months.” He stops to let someone cross the street; an android with their LED still in. They’re walking a cocker spaniel. “I’m not sure that it’s ever going to feel like normal again. Maybe normal wasn’t so good in the first place.”

“I think what normal is always changes. Sometimes it gets better, but then it finds new ways to get worse.”

The response seems out of character for her, or at least the version of her that Hank knew from before. “That sounds like a real downer.”

“But that’s what makes life worth living.” Something about the way her hair is styled tonight makes him think of the night he met her - the drunk girl he chased and pinned down in the dirt. “If there’s nothing for us to overcome, then what’s the use?”

Hank thinks he knows what she means. Playing the infinitely small part he had in the android rights movement had given him a reason to live. Although, he’s definitely not ready to talk to her about the dark place he was in when he met Connor. “Yeah, what are you trying to overcome?”

Audrey sits there for a while watching the streetlights reflect off the droplets of water gathering in the side windows. “Can you show me where you live now?” she asks quietly.

“You didn’t answer the question.”

“You didn’t answer mine.”

Hank smacks a hand against the steering wheel, “Answer me first, then I’ll take you by the house.”

“I’ll tell you when we get there,” a smirk is growing on her face even though she’s trying to force it down.

“You’re doing this on purpose, trying to get under my skin.”

“What are you going to do, pull over and eat me out for getting on your nerves?”

The words don’t come together into a logical meaning right away. “Oh um…”

Audrey starts laughing. It was a joke. Hank feels dumb, but then he laughs too. “Don’t use my good memories against me.”

“Is that a good memory for you? I always thought you were mortified about it.”

“It was a dumb thing to do, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy doing it.”

“What about now?” she asks. “Ever do anything that scares you anymore?”

Hank tucks his chin down and starts making a turn toward his house.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He parks the car in the driveway. The rain has all but stopped now, leaving behind waterlogged lawns and driveways.

“Place by the water, huh?” Audrey says shutting the passenger side door. “You have a boat?”

“Did for a while. Had to sell it to pay off some gambling debts.” Hank unlocks the door and motions for Audrey to go in first. “Gave that up along with the drinkin’ though.”

The place is as tidy as it can be now. Their arrival wakes Sumo from his slumber and dog trudges lazily to the entrance to greet them. The sweet pup is starting to show his age these days. Audrey drops to her knees and wraps her arms around the great beast. Hank is glad Sumo behaves himself and keeps all his paws on the floor. The dog probably has at least 50 pounds on her. “How long have you had this guy?”

Hank bends down to scratch Sumo behind the ears. “A couple years. Got him from a Saint Bernard rescue. His name’s Sumo. I think he likes you.”

Audrey gets back on her feet and dusts the dog fur off her hands, “I have a cat now. His name is Reginald.”

Hank doesn’t have any strong opinions about cats having never owned own one, but it’s reassuring somehow that she has also found comfort in the company of a pet. “I know this place isn’t much compared to what we had before (Hank’s stomach sinks at those last four words), but it’s enough for a man and his dog.”

Audrey turns her back to him to take the living room in, “It’s cozy. Where’s your piano?”

“Oh, uh…” he faulters. “It’s in the garage.” Hank hadn’t touched the keys in years. Not since Cole died. For a long time, he hadn’t even liked to look at the thing. It brought back the memory of his son sitting on his lap banging out a tuneless string of notes. “It probably needs some work to get it to sound right again.”

She turns around and looks up at him. His jacket his still slung over her shoulders and it hangs nearly to her knees. He just can’t help himself; he reaches out and cups the side of her face in his hand. “You know, if I had to watch another one of those washed up fuckboys pawing at you, I was going to rip all of their heads off.”

Hank immediately thinks it was the wrong thing to say. He is here trying to prove to her the he isn’t scary, and besides, he hadn’t been an especially jealous husband.

He’s relieved when she smirks at him and puts a hand on his wrist leaning her face into his palm. Hank’s heart skips a beat.

“I do miss you sometimes.” Her words are barely audible.

“Then why don’t you answer my calls?” Hank asks softly.

“At first it was because I was afraid of you…”

He knew that was the case but hearing her say it made tears sting the back of his eyes.

“Then I think I was just trying to move on. I knew if I heard your voice it would make everything so much more difficult. I never thought you’d crawl out of that dark place you were in.”

Now Hank falls to his knees. The two of them are nearly the same height like this. “Audrey, listen to me.” His voice is beginning to break, but he doesn’t care. “I would never _ever_ cause you any physical harm. I let my anger take over who I was that night. It wasn’t even about you. I hated myself because I thought I didn’t do enough to protect him.” If he says Cole’s name right now, he’s going to lose it. “But I understand now that I did everything that I could.” He gently puts his hands on her shoulders. “What happened between us, though. That’s all on me.”

Audrey wraps her arms around Hank’s neck and pulls him close. He reciprocates, enveloping her in his arms.

“You always did give the best hugs.” She’s crying now, and it causes a teardrop to fall from Hank’s own eyes. He gets to his feet and swings back down to lift her into his arms. His back creaks when he straightens up, but he manages just fine.

Cradling her in his arms, he carries her over to the couch. Sumo’s gone off to take a nap in the kitchen. Dog always seems to know when to give people space.

Hank sits down with her in his lap and just holds her listening to the second hand of his old analog clock ticking away.

“Tell me about what did it,” she says eventually. “What made you change. It’s something to do with Connor and the other androids isn’t it?”

So he tells her. He tells her about the deviant investigation, about Connor deviating. He considers leaving out the parts about how suicidal he was, but he tells her anyway. She will appreciate his honesty.

“ _Holy shit,”_ is all she says when he’s finished. And, yeah – that about covers it. At some point while he was telling his story Audrey had reached up and pulled the elastic out of his hair. She’s now running her fingers through it.

“I don’t think I’d be here anymore if it wasn’t for him,” He tells her.

She looks down in guilt, “I should have answered your calls.”

Hank pulls her in close to his body. “Don’t blame yourself. I’m the one who put myself in that hell of a place.”

Then something happens that he thought he would never get to experience again. She places her hands on either side of his face, and she kisses him. The moment her lips touch his, Hank’s heart begins to pound like thunder in his chest, like it’s the first time he’s kissed anyone in his life. Jesus, he’s too old to let himself get this worked up. She feels like brand new and she feels like coming home.

He knows all of this is just going to hurt in the long run. That she’s going to go back to California and leave him here alone, but he’s also lived long enough to know that sometimes the joy is worth any pain that follows.

Hank flips the both of them over so that he’s laying on his back on the couch and Audrey is sitting astride his hips. He wants to tell her how much he’s missed this, but he thinks he would sound pathetic. They kiss for a while longer. She tastes like fruity lip balm and cheap beer.

“Your beard is softer than I thought it would be,” she tells him. He’d always been clean shaven when they were together before. By the time he had a five o’clock shadow she would always complain that his face felt scratchy.

Hank grasps her hair and pulls her into a kiss that’s rougher than the previous ones. He feels one of her hands fumbling at the buttons of his shirt, and he clamps a hand around her wrist. He has lost some weight since he quit drinking, but he doesn’t look as good as he used to. Hell, he doesn’t even look like he did when Audrey left. He wishes he could go back in time and slap the shit out of his 30-something-year-old self for feeling self-conscious about his physique.

“Sorry,” Audrey says. “Guess I had the wrong idea about what we are doing here.”

“No – no baby. I just… well me and the gym haven’t been the best of friends recently.” The truth was he hadn’t been since the accident. He tries to image how amused anyone who had met him recently would be if they found out what a gym rat he used to be.

“I’m not getting any younger either, Hank.” The notion that he would find her unattractive almost makes him laugh out loud.

“It’s time to shut that pity party down. You had all those young guys swarming around you like flies earlier. They’re probably all standing around flabbergasted that you went home with some old creep.”

“You’ve been calling yourself some old creep for 20 years now. I think you should give it a rest,” she says stroking his cheek.

“Maybe I just never understood how someone like you could give me the time of day.”

Audrey gives him that mischievous smile again and starts working on his shirt buttons. This time he doesn’t stop her. He has an undershirt on anyway so that preserves his dignity a little.

Once she’s finished with the buttons, she kisses his neck roughly and then start grinding her body down into his hips. For a couple of years there when he’d been deep in the bottle, Hank hadn’t been able to get many real erections. Not that he had needed to anyway, but now that he’s been sobor for a while he can manage just fine. He is older now though, and things just don’t work the way they used to. He needs a little more time to get it together, and he knows exactly what it takes to get himself going.

He grips her underneath her thighs and swiftly rolls her over so now she’s the one laying back on the couch. Audrey giggles and covers her face. It strikes a chord of endearment for Hank. She knows exactly where this is going.

He plants his hands on the outside of her knees and runs his palms ups her thighs until they reach her silky underwear. This all feels like a dream, and he’s terrified his going to wake up in his bed in a cold sweat.

He slips his fingers into the elastic of her underwear and slides them down her legs. Hank wonders if she can tell he hasn’t been with anyone else since she left. He hadn’t wanted anyone else. Audrey has surely been with other people. She had been the farthest thing from shy about things like that when they first met. Unpleasant memories of those 30-something guys grinding on her in the club flash into his memory, but he quickly brings himself back to the task at hand.

He pushes her dress up above her hips, and her hand instinctively flies down to cover the scar from her C-section. It’s a pale, thin mark that healed remarkably well, and he doesn’t think it makes her any less attractive. Hell, the scar on his leg from where he was shot looks several times worse. Hank decides not to say anything about it, feeling like it would be hypocritical of him to call her out on her body images issues.

He buries his face in her warmth licking feverishly like he has something to prove. She tastes exactly the same as he remembers. But it’s quickly obvious something isn’t right. Her legs wiggle and her hands land on his head pushing him away. “Oh my god, Hank! Your beard tickles so much.”

At least that’s the only thing that’s wrong. Bearded Hank is a new experience for her. He starts working on her with his hands instead, one dipping inside her, the other focusing on her clit. She writhes and wines the same as she always has, and it goes straight to his cock.

He’s surprised how quickly he makes her come. She throws her head back and moans, not loud enough for the neighbors to hear, but it startles Sumo from his slumber in the kitchen.

“We should take this into the bedroom,” he tells her. Audrey nods, and Hank stands up and lifts her off the couch. He may not work out anymore, but he’s still plenty strong.

He drops her onto his comforter glad that he had thought to make his bed before he left. She sits up immediately and starts unbuttoning his pants, which is fine with him. His erection is straining against his jeans.

Audrey pulls his pants and underwear down at the same time and his cock springs free. She grasps it in her hand and sighs like it’s an old friend she’s dearly missed. It makes Hank laugh.

She takes him into the warmth of her mouth and starts sucking. God, Hank had been wondering if he’d ever get blown again in his life. Her head moves up and down with her tongue pressed into the sensitive spot underneath the head. He puts a hefty hand on the back of her head, fingers twining into her hair.

He doesn’t press her head down, but somehow, she gets choked anyway. Audrey used to be able to deepthroat him. Sometime before Cole was born she had made it her New Year’s resolution to learn how. It was a good year.

Hank wonders if the choking means she hasn’t done this in a long time – or maybe it’s just his size that’s throwing her off. She recovers quickly and keeps sucking, but she doesn’t try to swallow him again.

After a minute our two she pulls back and looks up at him. “Would you like me to ride you?”

“Uh… yeah, you can do that if you want.” Why the fuck would she think he wouldn’t want that?

Audrey crawls onto her knees and pulls her dress over her head. Hank kicks off his pants and hesitates before pulling off his undershirt and laying down on the bed. She crawls over and straddles his thighs while still fumbling with the clasp on her strapless bra. If she has any opinions about his current appearance, she doesn’t voice them. Hank is glad.

“I… I don’t think I have any lube,” he says.

She tosses her bra away then grips his shaft and begins to maneuver herself into position. “I think I’ll be okay.”

She winces when the tip pushes inside of her, and it makes Hank feel guilty. Sex has never been painful for _him._

Slowly though, she lowers herself down until she’s taken him to the hilt. Not for the first time, he imagines how her insides must have to adjust to accommodate him.

“You okay?” Hank asks.

“Just like riding a bicycle, right?” She laughs.

She starts fucking him then. Thrusting her entire body up and down, his dick gliding back and forth in her pussy. He’s again hit with the feeling that none of this could possibly be real.

Audrey starts riding him rough, and it’s all Hank can do to grip the sheets and hold on.

He’s getting close. She reaches forward and grabs a handful of his hair, “Come inside me, now.”

Apparently, his cock never stopped taking orders from her, because that’s all it takes to send him over the edge. This time, though he makes sure nothing stupid comes out his mouth besides a ridiculous sounding roar.

She rides him through his orgasm and gives him a second to catch his breath before she dismounts. He can see some of his come dripping out of her.

She flops down on the bed beside of him, and it feels strange. They’re laying on the opposite sides of the bed that they laid on when they were married.

“Sorry.” Hank says. “I just kinda laid there didn’t I?”

“It’s fine,” Audrey says doing a full body stretch “I said I wanted to ride you.”

“Would you like to sleep here tonight?” He had meant for it to sound like an offer, but it comes out as a plea.

Her eyelids look heavy. It’s after 1 a.m.

“Alright, sure.” She peels back the covers and climbs underneath. “I think your dog is at the door.”

“Oh, yeah. I need to let him outside. Be right back.” Hank pulls his pants back on and leaves to tend to Sumo.

When he gets back Audrey is already asleep. He gets undressed again and climbs into the wrong side of the bed with his ex-wife. What a strange night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA for anyone who needs to hear this. Sleeping with your ex is a bad idea like 99% of the time.  
> Hank is the 1%


	9. Chapter 9

Mornings don’t hit as hard as they used to when Hank was drinking, but he’s never managed to get the hang of them in his 54 years. Thankfully he has the day off, so there’s no alarm, nothing to annoy him until Sumo decides he needs to go outside again.

Except for some reason he feels a small hand rubbing his back.

Hank abruptly turns over startled by the unfamiliar feeling of someone else in his bed. Audrey smiles at him. “Sorry, I didn’t think that would wake you up. You used to sleep like a log.”

Her hair is a shock of bedhead. No matter how well-coiffed she was when she went to sleep, she always woke up looking like she stuck her finger in a light socket. At least that hadn’t changed.

The room is filled with the sound of fat raindrops hitting the roof.

“I think I was uh…. just awake anyway.” He feels like he should offer to make her breakfast, but he knows there’s nothing in his fridge. Damn coffee and donuts habit. “Do you want me to take you back to where you’re staying?”

The smile falls from her face, “Oh, sure, I guess.”

 _Shit_. Now she thinks he wants her to leave. “Hey, let’s grab some pancakes first, though. What do you say?” God, he sounds so lame.

For some reason that seems to perk her back up. “Is Frankie’s still open?”

Frankie’s was a diner they used to visit when they were hungover after a particularly rowdy tailgating session. Audrey never cared much for sports – but she claimed to be an aficionado of hanging out outside drinking beer.

“You think the place that came up with the triple-decker bacon marshmallow lasagna is going to go out of business?”

Audrey sits up and the sheets fall from her bare breasts giving Hank flashbacks of the previous night. She doesn’t seem the least bit self-conscious as she climbs out of bed and raises her arms into the air to stretch her back. Hank wants to tell her that she looks incredible, but his voice is caught in the back of his throat.

She grabs the undershirt he was wearing the night before and pulls it over her head. The bottom of it hits her mid-thigh. “Is it okay if I use your bathroom first?”

“Yeah, it’s right across the hall.”

The second she disappears out the door Hank wanders if this whole thing is something that’s playing out in his imagination. Maybe he’s really laying in some psych ward right now with alcohol-induced brain damage. But her dress is still laying in the floor by the bed and he can hear water running in the bathroom.

He gets out of bed, throws on a hoodie and some sweatpants, and heads out to take care of Sumo. It’s everything Hank can do to keep the over-sized mutt from splashing into every puddle in the neighborhood.

Hank shakes out his umbrella when he gets back then goes to peek into the bedroom to see if Audrey is dressed yet. The room is empty. He turns around to see that the bathroom door is open, and Audrey is standing in front of the sink on her tiptoes looking at the notes stuck to Hank’s bathroom mirror.

He feels a pang of panic in his chest. Why hadn’t he thought to take those down? It’s obvious what they are. Rip-off versions of the little pieces of herself that she used to leave for him to find.

She peels one of the slips off the mirror.

_Today will be fabulous._

She doesn’t look at Hank, but she must notice he’s there. “Why did you make these?”

He takes a deep breath and holds it. The post-its on the mirror have been there for at least two-years. Really, he’s surprised the glue still holds.

Some of them are affirmations.

_Keep smiling._

Others are nonsense.

_Shaving or not_

Some of them appeared after black-out benders. Others were placed there painfully sober.

All of them are there for one reason. To make Hank feel like he isn’t so alone in this world that has taken everything from him.

But he doesn’t want Audrey to know the pathetic truth.

Hank leans against the doorframe putting his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. “I don’t know,” he lies.

She raises her arms to stick the note back in place. It causes the undershirt to raise up exposing more of her milky soft thighs. “Do you miss the little messages I used to leave for you?”

He winces debating in his mind what to say next. “Can I show you something?”

Hank leads her back into his bedroom where he pulls an old shoe box from the back of his closet. It’s marked with the logo of a pair of converse tennis shoes he bought more than two decades ago. Audrey sits on the edge of the bed and he hesitantly places the box in her lap.

Gingerly she removes the lid and sets it beside of her. Her head hangs down staring into the cardboard interior. Hank watches intently as she slowly reaches down, trembling fingers brushing across the contents inside. The box contains only slips of paper. There must be at least a couple hundred of them.

Every single note that she had ever left for him, Hank had quietly saved, tucking them away for a rainy day. Today it’s pouring.

He hasn’t opened the box in a long time. Not that he can remember anyway.

“Hank,” she says – her voice nearly a whisper. “You kept all of these?”

Hank nods his head at a loss for an answer. “Can I ask you something Audrey?”

“I’m right here.”

Hank moves to sit beside her on the foot of the bed. “What is all this? Why’d you want to come home with me last night?”

Audrey pries her eyes away from the box and stares straight ahead, “It seems I’ve made some impulsive decisions.”

The response catches Hank off guard and he laughs “You? Make an impulsive decision? It would never happen.”

“Don’t laugh at me, Hank,” Audrey says, but now she’s laughing as well.

He does his best to put on a straight face. “Listen, I’m sorry if I’ve made you do something you’re gonna regret.”

“You didn’t make me do anything, Hank – actually this was probably mostly my fault. I knew exactly what was going to happen when I asked to come back here.” She runs a hand through her hair. “God, I never change, do I?”

Hank shrugs, “Not like we did anything wrong, right? Well, unless you’ve uh… unless you’re seeing someone else.” The last few words escape from his mouth in an embarrassed rush.

Audrey shakes her head ‘no’ and begins shuffling through the notes. “I don’t even remember writing most of these.” She plucks a slip of blue paper from the box. “‘Nothing goes so far over your head that you can’t reach it if you jump.’ What the hell was I talking about?”

“I’m sure it made more sense at the time.” Hank bumps his shoulder playfully against hers. “Never got one of those that didn’t make me smile.”

“You know, your partner collects smiles too. He told me about it.”

“I’m not even going to try to figure out what that means,” says Hank.

Audrey runs a finger around the edge of the shoe box. “I wasn’t entirely honest with him about why I’m here.”

“What do you mean?” She had been at the bachelorette party just like Connor said she was going to be.

“My old job wants me back. I came here to meet with them. The party was just kind of a coincidence.”

Hank doesn’t know what to do with this information. “You’re moving... back here?”

She picks the lid to the shoe box up and puts it back in place. “I haven’t decided yet. The weather’s great in California, but I don’t feel like I really fit in there.”

Hank finds that hard to believe. She’s never had an issue making friends wherever she goes. “There are a lot of people here who’ve missed you.”

She turns her head to face the wall. Like she can’t stand to look at him while she says what she’s about to say. “I thought it wouldn’t mean anything to me. Seeing you again. But the truth is, I’ve never been able to help myself around you. Ever since I saw you for the first time.”

The flattery feels foreign to Hank. He looks down at his rough unkempt hands, at his beer gut that strains the fabric on the front of his hoodie when he sits down. How could anyone not be able to control themselves around this? “How much longer are you in town for?” he asks her.

“Three more days. I fly out Wednesday morning,” she says.

“Can I see you again… before you go?” he knows he sounds full on desperate now, but he doesn’t care.

She places a hand on top of his. “Let me think about it.”

Hank nods and hangs his head to the floor. He is probably asking for too much.

Audrey pops up onto her feet. “We can still get pancakes though, right?” Her sudden optimistic tone strikes a sentimental chord for him.

“You bet.” He scans his eyes down her body. She’s still only wearing his undershirt. “I’ll let you get dressed. Meet you in the living room.”

As Hank is closing the bedroom door, he sees her reach for the lid of the box again. He wonders if she’s written notes for anyone else since she’s been gone.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hank feels his phone vibrate in his pocket as he’s filing away evidence in the station basement. He sent Connor home for the day, telling him he’d take care of the menial tasks they had left to wrap up a case. Connor had protested saying he could finish the work faster, but Hank shut him down. Some good old-fashioned busy work isn’t going to kill him.

Hank pulls his phone out. It’s Audrey saying she’s in front of the station. He smiles far too broadly for a guy holding a blood-soaked shirt inside a plastic bag. She’s texted him a few times since he dropped her off at her hotel, but this visit is quite unexpected.

He texts her back letting her know that he’s nearly wrapped up for the day, and that if she wants, she can go inside and wait for him at his desk.

Hank rushes through the rest of the filing, knowing full well he’s doing a shitty job and Connor is going to go back through it tomorrow morning and redo everything.

He realizes he needs to get a handle on himself when he notices that he is nearly honest-to-god skipping on his way to the stairs. It’s not a good look on a grizzled old man.

Hank gets back to his desk just in time to see mother fucking Gavin Reed slide into his damn chair. Gavin’s back is to him, and he obviously hasn’t noticed the Lieutenant is there.

Audrey is sitting in a chair pulled up to the edge of the desk. She does see Hank, but Reed’s gums start flapping before she has the chance to say anything.

“You’re waiting to talk to Lieutenant Anderson? Good luck with that. Lazy old bastard probably snuck out an hour ago. You a witness? Maybe I could take down your story instead. I’m a real good listener, ya know?”

“I’m not a witness, no…” It’s all she can manage to get out before detective dipshit cuts her off again.

“Either way, my names Detective Reed. I’ll be happy to assist you however I can. Let me get your name – and your phone number too. Ya, know, just in case.” He can’t see Gavin’s face but he’s pretty sure the bastard just winked.

Gavin Reed is sitting right in front of him hitting on his ex-wife. It’s nearly comical until Hank really takes a look at the two of them. They look like they could be the same age. Hell, Audrey is probably only a few years older than Gavin. They are certainly closer in age than she and Hank are.

“Hank!” he hears the Captain yell at him from the door of his office. “Come talk to me before you leave. I want to go over this case file with you one more – ” Jeffrey stops mid-sentence staring across the bullpen like he’s seen a ghost. “Audrey?” The Captain moves down the stairs from his office. “Maya told me you were in town, but I sure as hell didn’t expect to see you here. You look great.”

Gavin is now facing outward from the desk looking between the three of them in rapid succession. “You know Captain Fowler?”

Audrey smiles, “Yeah, he’s my ex-husband’s boss.”

The detective sits there with a dumb look on his face that Hank decides suits him. “Your ex-husband? Who – ” He looks over toward Hank who just shrugs at him. _Who do you think dumbass?_

He looks back at Audrey and then at Hank again realization dawning on him. “You’ve got to be phcking with me.”

“Yeah, shit biscuit, this is all just to fuck with you. Get your ass out of my chair!” Hank grabs the back of the chair leaning it forward, and sending Gavin hopping to his feet. The Detective trudges across the room muttering to himself and shaking his head in disbelief.

Jeffrey puts his hands on his hips. “Really, though. You guys aren’t about to start arguing, are you? Cause if so, you need to take your personal business outside, Hank.”

He’s actually a little offended by the allegation. Even when they were a couple, they had never liked to argue in public.

“Calm down, Jeff,” Audrey says rising to her feet. “I just wanted to take Hank out for dinner.”

“You two are getting along then? Hell, that’s mighty noble of you, Audrey,” Jeffrey says.

“Maybe so, but Hank’s worked hard to get where he is. I think that deserves some acknowledgement.”

Jeffrey nods and thinks over his next words for a moment. “You pushed everyone in your damn life away, Hank. I hope you can get some of them back.”

Hank looks at his Captain. They weren’t friends anymore. Not like they used to be. He hadn’t told him congratulations on getting sober or invited him to his kid’s graduation. Hank lost Cole and Audrey, but then he lost Jeffrey too. Even if he sees him nearly every day, nothing has been the same since the day Hank hit him.

“There’s a game on Saturday,” Hank says. “I hear they’re doing all you can eat wings at Tony’s.”

“I’ll meet you there at seven.” Jeffery points a finger at Hank’s chest. “Get ranch, not blue cheese.”

“It’s a date.”

He waves goodbye to the Captain and guides Audrey out of the station with his hand on the small of her back.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Connor arrives at work early as usual and pulls up his checklist of duties. First up, he goes through the evidence Hank sorted through the previous evening. As suspected the Lieutenant’s organization is insufficient. Connor tidies everything up before heading upstairs to review his notes for their next case.

Hank arrives at the station late, but not terribly so. It’s not the hour the hour of his arrival that catches Connor off guard, but the Lieutenant’s appearance when he walks through the door.

There’s an image that shows up each time Connor scans Hank for information. It looks to be from an old newspaper article about a successful drug bust. When Hank walks into the station that morning, he looks like the image in the android’s system… only older. His face is clean shaven, and his hair is cropped short. Connor thinks he just looks odd.

Detective Miller actually stops Hank and asks him if he needs directions. It isn’t until he hears the Lieutenant’s distinctive voice, that he realizes who he’s talking to.

As Hank takes his usual seat at his desk across from Connor’s he notes that nearly everyone in the station is giving Hank sideways glances. “Good morning, Lieutenant. You were supposed to arrive an hour ago, is everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Hank says firing up his terminal. “Just getting a haircut.”

“If you don’t mind me saying so, I think your new appearance will take some time for everyone here to become accustomed to. Myself included.”

Before Hank can respond, Captain Fowler yells for Hank from his office, “I never got to talk to you about that case file last night.”

“Alright, alright.” Hank says getting back up to meet the Captain in his office.

Connor follows him, but Captain Fowler stops him at the door. “Hank and I can handle this. You go ahead and get a head start on your work for today.”

“It’s fine Jeff,” Hank says. “Whatever you want to say to me, you can say in front of Connor.”

Jeffrey shuts the door behind the Android. “Have it your way.” The Captain adjusts his belt walking back behind his desk. “What the hell is all this Hank?” He gestures to Lieutenant’s entire body.

“A man can’t visit the barber without getting in trouble with his boss?”

“I’m not talking to you as your boss right now.” Jeffrey pounds his desk with his fist. “Look, I don’t know whatever fantasy you’re playing out while she’s here, but you need to realize your life still has to carry on when she leaves again.”

Connor feels like he’s missing some crucial piece of this puzzle. He deduces the two men must be talking about Audrey Ballentine, but if Hank had gone to see her why hadn’t he told him?

“Look Jeff, not that it’s any of your fucking business – because it’s not – but she’s coming back. And, you know I don’t know where this is headed, but that’s between the two of us, isn’t it?”

The captain runs his palm over his bald head. “What do you mean she’s coming back?”

“She’s taking her old job back. She told me last night.” Hank takes a seat in front of Jeffrey’s desk. “Says she hopes to have the move finished in about three months.”

The Captain shakes his head, “Hank, just because she’s coming back here doesn’t mean she’s going to head back to the alter with you. It’s one thing to fuck your ex-wife for shits and giggles but – Hank, I refuse to watch you fall apart again.”

Connor wonders if he should have elected to remain outside. He hadn’t realized this was going to be a personal conversation.

“Damn it Jeffery, how many years do you think I have left to give to the PD anyway? Can’t you just let me take this one small shot I have at feeling like myself again.”

The Captain sighs and shakes his head, “That’s just the thing Hank. I was prepared to keep my mouth shut about this whole thing, but then you come in here this morning looking like… well looking like yourself. Are you sure this isn’t dredging up bad memories for you?”

Hank stands up and leans over the desk between them. “I have to live with my bad memories every fucking day. Nothing’s ever going to change that.”

“Do you have any idea how lucky you are to be standing here in front of me like you are now? Hank, I thought that any day I was gonna get a call from the morgue to come identify your body because someone found you dead in a gutter.”

Connor puts a hand on Hank’s shoulder. “Maybe you should take what he says into consideration. I’m worried your recovery is fragile, Lieutenant.”

Hank sinks back into his chair and leans his head back, “Guys, I get it. But this is something I have to do.” His eyes are closed. If Hank had sat like this yesterday, his gray hair would be hanging down passed his shoulders. Now it’s cropped close to his neck. It’s strange that Captain Fowler said that Hank looks like himself this morning. Connor thinks his partner looks like a Hank from an alternate timeline.

Hank sits up and looks forward at Jeffrey, “If it kills me, then it kills me.”

The Captain folds his arms across his chest, “That’s the most millennial bullshit I’ve ever heard.”

“Ain’t it just?” Hank slaps his hands against his knees and rises from his seat. “Now if you don’t mind, Connor and I have a new case to work on.”

As he’s walking out the door Jeffrey calls out to him, “We’re still on for Saturday?”

Hank nods, “Fuck blue cheese.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The sky is clear this evening for the first time in days, and the setting sun casts an orange glow across the city. Hank pulls the sun visor down to keep from being blinded behind the wheel. It’s something he wouldn’t have to worry about if he’d get over his issues and buy another self-driving car.

They’d wrapped up their work for the day, and he’d offered to drive Connor home. His partner is uncharacteristically quiet in the passenger’s seat. He’s been this way most of the day.

“Thanks for taking care of all of that paperwork by the way,” Hank says. “It would have taken me an extra hour to get through.”

The Android’s LED is spinning yellow. “Are you going to see her again tonight?”

Hank sighs and shakes his head, “This shit again? I thought you liked her.”

“I do,” Connor replies. “I just worry about you, Hank. Why didn’t you tell me you went to see her?”

“Things got… complicated. We did a lot of talking.” Hank takes a deep breath and smiles. “She’s coming back, Connor.”

His partner is staring at him perplexed. “You really think that’s going to happen?”

Hank smacks his hand against the side of the steering wheel, “Look why don’t you come with me? I was just going to swing by and say goodbye to her. She’s leaving in the morning.”

They meet Audrey in the hotel parking lot. Connor reaches out to shake her hand, but she bats his arm away and moves in for a hug. Connor goes uncomfortably stiff, which makes Hank laugh.

“Hank tells me you’re moving back to Detroit,” he says patting her awkwardly on the back.

“I believe so,” she turns the android loose. “Maybe we can go on more impromptu coffee dates.”

Connor’s programming can’t seem to come up with a proper response to that.

“You all set for your flight?” Hank asks.

“I think so,” she says. “I was just about to head to bed. Need to be at the airport early.”

“Well, we won’t keep you. Just wanted to say goodbye,” Hank wants to kiss her, but he decides it would be strange to do in front of Connor. Instead he bends down and pulls her into a bear hug that nearly lifts her off her feet. “Text me when you land, okay?”

Connor wishes her safe travels and begins walking back to the car. Hank catches up with him as he’s opening the door, “See, son. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“I hope you’re right, Hank.” Connor smiles at him, and it looks normal for once. “You know she told me that there was a time when you were the best man she’d ever met.”

“Yeah, those days are long gone,” Hank says opening the car door. “Oh, have you been collecting smiles? That’s fucking weird. Even for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you guys were expecting more drama between Audrey and Hank. Like the tags say, this is a story with a happy ending. I'm trying to make it feel realistic, though!


	10. Chapter 10

  * _I heard you call him son._



It’s the first text Hank receives from Audrey when she lands in California.

  * _Is that how you think of him?_



He sets his phone face down on the kitchen table. He hates having conversations like this this through text message. It’s impossible to judge her tone. Is she upset with him? Just curious?

Hell, it wasn’t even something Hank said intentionally, although he knows it’s not the first time he’s called Connor that. _Son._ Thankfully the Android never tries to make it awkward. It’s not like he was comparing Connor to Cole. The notion is almost ridiculous to think about. His partner was designed to be a literal killing machine. But there’s something childlike about him that his programming can’t account for. All of Connor’s parts could be identified and inventoried, but the sum of them would never add up to the person he is.

  * It’s complicated
  * Mostly he’s my friend and my partner
  * I guess part of me never stopped feeling like a dad



  * _That’s really Sweet._



The message comes through a short time later. Hank breathes a sigh of relief. At least she doesn’t think he’s trying to replace the memory of their actual son with someone else.

‘When will I get to see you again?’ Hank types out the words on his phone then quickly erases them.

  * When are you heading back to Detroit?



That’s better. Less needy.

Audrey doesn’t reply for a while, and it makes him anxious. Eventually – his phone lights up with a reply.

  * _It will probably be about a month and a half. I have to wrap up a project with my job out here before I leave, and I’ll need to make moving arrangements._



A month and a half. That’s six weeks. _No sweat_ , Hank thinks.

Audrey tells him in a text that one of her friends has an empty condo she plans on renting when she moves back. Hank scratches his head; he hasn’t given much thought to what her living situation will be like. It would be weird if he asked her to stay with him, right?

Where the fuck do they even stand now anyway?

It takes him half an hour to work up the nerve to hit send on the next message, but it needs to be done.

  * So what are you and I now?
  * To each other?



He gets a reply almost immediately.

  * _We’re friends, Hank._



His shoulders slump. In the back of his mind, he knew that this was likely the case, but he was so foolishly optimistic.

  * So what happened the other night can’t happen again
  * Right?



  * _I don’t know._
  * _If you want to it can._
  * _Maybe_



She can’t do this to him. Leaving him hanging here like this aching for her. Saying that maybe she’ll sleep with him if the mood strikes her, but they can’t _be_ together.

Except… shit.

He can see it in his mind like it happened yesterday. Audrey – 21 years old sitting on the couch in her pajamas telling him that she couldn’t keep doing this anymore. That she couldn’t keep sleeping with him when he wouldn’t even admit that he had feelings for her. God, he’d been an ass. The tables are turned, and it’s humbling in a way. You never realize how easy it is to hurt someone when they’ve given you their whole heart.

  * Alright



It’s all he texts her back before shutting off his phone.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hank occupies himself with work, taking on extra tasks to pass the time. Using paperwork to fill the empty space in his life. He used to do this all the time when he was younger. Before Audrey burst into his life and turned everything upside down.

The detectives in his unit are perplexed. He’s been a good lieutenant since he sobered up, but he’s never been this productive. Connor doesn’t mention it. He’s probably just happy Hank hasn’t fallen off the wagon.

Jeffrey and Hank start meeting up nearly every weekend. The Captain has more time now that his kids are grown.

Hank is standing in the living room one day talking to Jeff and Maya when their daughter stops by to visit.

“Uncle Hank!” The girl yells before running across the room and plowing into him with a hug that nearly knocks him over.

“Jesus child, be careful. He’s an old man now. He can’t take your abuse anymore.” Jeffrey says laughing.

“Speak for yourself,” Hank says patting the young woman on the back. “I was just starting to feel young again.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Audrey is already moving into the condo when she lets Hank know she’s back in town. Hank offers to come over and help her with her furniture.

Her new place is in a ritzy building in a busy part of town, and Hank is lucky to find a parking space right in front of the door. The doorman wrinkles his nose at him when he steps out of the Oldsmobile. He’s a human, Hank can tell because they never made Androids that ugly. The man is surprised to find Hank is on the list expected visitors.

“Have a nice visit, Mr. Anderson,” he says looking down his nose.

“It’s _Lieutenant_ Anderson,” Hank says as he pushes the front door open.

He takes the elevator up to Audrey’s apartment. She answers the door wearing jeans and t-shirt. She looks like she’s been doing physical labor, which makes sense since she just moved in.

Inside the apartment is almost sickeningly modern. It’s like a miniature version of fucking Kamski’s house only there’s boxes piled up everywhere. Hank feels decidedly out of place. Their old house had been nice, but this place is _sleek._ A charcoal gray cat naps on a cushion in the corner.

“You plan on staying here for a while?” Hank asks.

“Well, I signed a year’s lease, so at least that long.”

Hank helps Audrey move her living room furniture in place. It’s all brand new. Probably cheaper than hauling her old stuff across the country. Not that she had to worry about money. For the first time ever the thought of Audrey making so much more money than him makes him feel inadequate. _Stupid man brain_.

But it’s hard not to feel that way when the deck is already so stacked against him. She’s still beautiful, and Hank’s best days are far behind him. Not to mention all the other shit that’s happened between them.

Once she approves of the furniture placement, Audrey says the two of them have earned a break and pulls a pint of ice cream out of the freezer. Chunky Monkey. It was always her favorite. Cole’s too.

They sit on the kitchen floor and eat straight out of the carton. Audrey’s already been to work, and she talks about how surreal it was to see so many of her old co-workers.

“Is this surreal too?” Hank asks. “Being here, with me of all people?”

Audrey shakes her head, “No, why would you think that?”

“It’s not really normal, ya know. For ex husbands and wives to just hang out like this.”

“Have you ever once seen me concerned about what anyone else thinks about us?” she says digging her spoon down into the container. “You want to be here, don’t you? I mean, you offered to come over and help.”

Hank waves his hands in front of him, “No – no it’s not that. I just… I guess I don’t really understand why you’re even interested in being around me anymore.” Christ, he sounds pathetic. _Where’s that cocky asshole exterior now, Anderson?_

Audrey puts her spoon in her mouth savoring the creamy sweetness, “You asked me before when we left that club about what I’m trying to overcome. I’m trying to overcome my own stubbornness. I think it’s the only thing keeping me from being happy, and you know what? I think I’m getting there.” She gets to her feet and wipes imaginary dust from her pants. “I’m going to take a shower; you can join me if you want.”

Hank swallows his bite of ice cream so quickly it gives him a brain freeze. By the time he recovers, he hears the shower running from a bathroom in the hallway. He stands up, knees only creaking slightly. The bathroom door is open, and the steam is wafting out. He peers in and sees Audrey’s clothes piled into the corner. She’s already behind the shower curtain. _Moment of truth, Hank._

He pulls off his shirt and is halfway through unbuckling his belt when the bathroom mirror catches his eye. It’s not quite fogged over yet and he can see his reflection. Hank turns his back to it. He’s not about to chicken out now. He finishes stripping and pulls back the curtain.

She is standing under the shower spray with her head tilted back and her eyes closed. Hank steps inside and pulls the curtain closed. The shower is easily twice as large as the one in his own bathroom with a rainfall shower head mounted at the top. Audrey’s back is to him, and he wraps his hands around her waist. Trying something sexual doesn’t seem appropriate right now, so he pulls her body against his and holds her there feeling the warmth of their skin pressed together.

She turns her head and presses her cheek into his chest. “I’ve always wanted you. Ever since the first time I saw you. I’m sure I’ll want you till the day I die.”

Hank strokes her wet hair away from her face, “But we can’t be together, right? I understand.”

“I don’t know, Hank… so much has happened. I don’t think we could just pick back up where we left off.”

He knows she’s right about that, but still, he has to ask. “Hey, it’s not like it has to be all or nothing. You could stay here, and I could come over sometimes and take you out every now and then –”

“Are you saying you want to be my boyfriend?” Audrey cuts him off.

“Yeah… I guess that sounds about right.” Being called someone’s ‘boyfriend’ at his age feels weird to Hank.

She turns around and tilts her head up toward him, “I think that sounds nice.”

The words come out so quietly Hank thinks he must have misheard her. “You – you want that? Really?”

“Don’t sound so surprised, Hank. We’re standing here naked together.”

There was that, yes. But he wants more than just a physical relationship with her, and it sounds like that’s what she wants too. “It doesn’t even seem fair that one man gets the chance to date you twice in one lifetime.”

She laughs, “This time I promise not to do anything that could get you in trouble at work.”

Hank places his hands on either side of her face, “Baby, if you could get me in more trouble at work than I’ve gotten myself into, I’d just be impressed.”

Audrey wraps her hands around the back of his neck and pulls him closer. It’s their first kiss as a couple, at least the second time around.

Each water droplet hitting Hank's skin feels like fireworks, and they’re celebrating the fact that Hank managed to stay alive long enough to have this again.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“I hope this turned out okay, I haven’t baked anything in ages,” Audrey is sitting in the passenger’s seat with a pineapple upside down cake in her lap. For some reason, that’s a trendy dessert these days.

“I’m sure it’s fine, babe. It smells fantastic,” Hank says putting his car into park on the street.

The sun casts a pink glow over the suburb as it sets. He can already hear the ruckus happening in the Fowler’s backyard. A party for the football season kickoff. The whole homicide unit had been invited, and from the looks of it most of them have shown up. Even Gavin’s motorcycle is parked up against the curb. Hank can’t wait to tease him about the time he tried to hit on Audrey.

Hank leans over and pecks his girlfriend on the cheek, “Why don’t you head on back, I’ll just be a minute.”

Audrey opens the car door, “Alright, but I’m not saving you a hot dog if they’re running out.”

She slips out taking the cake with her. He watches her walk up to the front door and knock. Maya answers hugging Audrey and welcoming her in.

Hank looks over at the empty seat. She left her cardigan behind. It’s a warm night, she shouldn’t need it anyway.

He reaches into the breast pocket of his jacket and pulls out a slip of paper he’d written on before he left his house. He checks it again to make sure he hasn’t spelled anything wrong.

_Second chances are worth their weight in gold._

Hank folds the note in half and slips it into the pocket of Audrey’s sweater. Maybe she will find it after he drops her off at home tonight.

After checking his hair in the rear-view mirror, he steps out onto the sidewalk.

“Hank!” Jeffrey pokes his head over the backyard fence. “Get your ass back here, you’re missing all the fun."

“I’m not worried,” Hank yells back. “I know you wouldn’t start the party without your lieutenant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a shorter chapter to wrap things up, but we're done!
> 
> I'm so happy to have finished my first story on here! Going back and looking over everything again, there are some things I would have done differently, but this has been a great learning experience.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who read all the way through! Feel free to let me know what you thought!


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